Cell YELLLLLLL

Cellphones are sometimes blessings but, most times, curses. 

When your 89 year-old father is running late because of city traffic, it is a blessing not to start calling emergency rooms around the city.  If you are on a bus and a teenager is talking about adolescent issues and her first visit to the gynecologist, well, then, it is a little like being in purgatory.

Recently, on a bus going uptown on the west side of Manhattan, a woman in her mid-to-late seventies was having a conversation on her cellphone.  To be more precise, she was YELLING into her cellphone as if she were hard-of-hearing or had never used a cellphone before (or both).  A man in his sixties turned around and told her he was very sensitive to noise and ask very politely if she would mind lowering her voice.

Her response was to tell her friend, “can you believe someone told me to quiet down? If you were next to me and we were screaming to each other, no one would say anything to us.” 

You can’t argue with that, mostly because all you would get out of it is a headache.

E-books recreated as paperbacks

Wait, I thought the ad campaign for the Amazon Kindle was “think green, buy e-books”??  Now Amazon is going to print e-books in paperback?  Then why do you need e-books again?

There is something so odd, almost reverse-Darwinian about this. As if Thomas Edison decided that candles and oil lamps were better than light bulbs.  And printing paperbacks is SOOOOOOOOOOO ungreen, especially if publishers have unsold hardcover or paperback copies stacked in warehouses.  Don’t kill more trees.

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HP, Amazon to sell paperback versions of e-books

  • By MICHAEL LIEDTKE, AP Technology Writer – Wed Oct 21, 2009 2:16PM EDT  

SAN FRANCISCO –

Some of technology’s best-known companies are betting there’s pent-up demand for on-demand books.

Hewlett-Packard Co., the world’s top seller of personal computers and printers, is teaming up with online retailer Amazon.com Inc. to join Internet search leader Google Inc. as the latest entrants in the quirky new market of re-creating digital books as paperbacks.

The concept represents a different type of book recycling, as digital copies created from print get a second life as paperbacks.

[rest of article deleted]

More stress dreams

Last night, I dreamed I forgot to graduate from law school.  But I forgot to dream about computer malfunctions so, sure enough, computer malfunctions abound in the office today.  Because everything is mechanized, even the fax machine goes straight to a scanner which doesn’t function in a system malfunction.  I think all legal documents should have as an excuse for performance — along with acts of G-d, civil unrest, widespread labor strikes — a computer malfunction that renders lawyers useless (ok, more useless).

Thank G-d we have a second fax line that spits out faxes using paper (of all things), like the old days.  I have had to dictate letters to secretaries in other offices. 

I am thinking about a whole new PBS kids show: “Dinosaur Lawyer”.  Lawyering before computers and other amenities made us soft.  Back to the days of hand-to-hand/pen-to-pen combat.  Where if you wanted to be snarky, you had to say it to the person as opposed emailing the snarky comment from the safety of your computerized bunker.

In a separate stress reality, the news has been reporting all day that the Senate Finance Committee’s vote is imminent.  VOTE ALREADY.  You’re stressing me out.

The Fat Pictures

I was a skinny, athletic kid, until 16.  From 16 to 22, I was hefty (a term I find preferable to chunky, heavy or the big “O” word).  Since 22, I have slimmed down and, while not so athletic anymore at 45, I am fit.  Every now and again, when I recount my years of being “two tons of fun”, people are often disbelieving and want to see the fat pictures. 

Well they surfaced on Facebook, courtesy of a college friend to whom I haven’t spoken in years and years and, after this, may not for many years to come.  Ok, I am exaggerating.  I’ll talk to him at our 60th college reunion because we will both be senile.

I can honestly say I have been the trifecta of fat, dumb and happy — all at once and at different times.

Ah, the joys and perils of connectivity.

Thought for the not-so-new media

Too much information is available on Facebook.  And available for everyone to see.

If we could put a man on the Moon, someone techie can figure out how to devise a nuclear-proof fire-walls between parents’ and their children’s Facebook pages.  If you want to know the threat to family values, finding out too much about your parents or your kids can really cause embarrassing (or worse) moments.

For example, how does a father explain to his daughter that his nickname in college was Spanky, or The Fiend?  How does a daughter explain those inappropriate pictures at a party where there are social lubricants in evidence.

I hope that Facebook and its progeny don’t exist when my son is old enough to have a page.  I know I won’t want that information.

Thought for today July 26, 2009: Why newspapers must survive

The 24 hour news REcycle needs information to feed the machine it created.  If there is no news, then the machine requires that the hosts “dig deeper” to create news or to raise ancillary issues to the level of important news.  Michael Jackson and Jon and Kate are not as important as (although they are very important to those who love them) news items as are the recent North Korean alleged shipment of arms to Myanmar, the election issues in Iran, the health care bill, the economy and about ten other issues that have fallen into the news black hole.

True, the newspapers are not necessarily heroic purveyors of important information  — they were complacent about the Iraq war.

But the pressures of a 24-hour newsday does not encourage in-depth journalism.  Just because a headline ran over cable the night before doesn’t mean that the news is stale the next day.  Headlines do not contain all of the information one needs to know.  News is not like an iPod or a Nintendo game — good until the next version comes out.  A news story evolves as people and movements weigh in and complicate the issues.

I prefer newspapers.  I prefer articles that have taken a week in creation.  They are more informative, more textured and better considered than the regurgitation of the same pat phrases heard on television journalism. But they are not gospel.  So, one needs to read many sources, including some representing the opposite side of one’s general political leanings.

If independent newspapers become obsolete, the free flow of information will be drastically curtailed in our society and that is a threat to our freedoms and liberty.  And if it happens, I will get my news from Jon Stewart.

Crazy is as crazy does

Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome.  Every time I watch a reality TV show, I last through the first 3 minutes.  My tastes are not mainstream (but they are not crazy weird either).  Every time I pick a check-out line, it is the line on which a person doesn’t have a credit/debit card and wants change of $100 bill for a 89 cent purchase.  So, what was I thinking when I was looking on Amazon for DVDs to purchase?  I was looking for indie films — not ones that made the big screen because I am trying to support living artists.  I went by customer reviews.  Based on the reviews, one would think the ones I bought were cinematic experiences of a lifetime.  My partner and I settled in to watch one of the movies and we were sucked in, not by the plot line but, by the low quality of the writing, the acting and the cinematography.  It was a cinematic car crash  — we couldn’t look but we couldn’t look away.

Ok, I learned my lesson this time.  But next time . . . .

Thought for today, July 7, 2009: Twit?

If someone over 40 uses the word, “twit” to mean a jerk or twerp, will a person under 40 have any idea what that means and is there a new definition of “twit” in the Age of Twitter?

A RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE

I was just on the phone canceling FOR THE SECOND TIME some stupid customer protection service on a credit card. I tried to cancel it two months ago and I had to endure a surly response from my customer service representative — the definition of oxymoron. The first cancellation didn’t go through (probably because my surly representative thought he would gain points by delaying the termination — a little paranoia is part of Manhattan survival skills) and I am on the phone again, with serieuse attitude coming from the Mr. Customer Service who is not the mere definition of oxymoron but is the true personification of oxymoron. Definitely a call center in the US because no one can fake that decidedly American accent. So, there’s a silver lining — the abusive person was a fellow American and his job was not outsourced. I don’t know if I would have remained as calm (a stretch) as I was had I realized that an American job was lost so I could be berated in this manner. He reminded me that the call was being recorded as was the call from my prior excellent customer service experience. I said that I was glad it was being recorded because I would love everyone and anyone to hear the tone and manner of the customer service representatives. We concluded our business and we ended the phone call. Now that I blog I don’t have to regale my partner, who needs me to rant like she needs a hole in the head, and she can have a little less stress this evening. Thank you to everyone who reads this because I (and my partner) owe you big time.