You want to know why our society is crumbling? Why we are losing our preeminence in education and innovation? Look in the mirror.
These are the items that get equal billing in the news re-cycle in the US. These are taken from CNN, Yahoo, MSNBC and FOX. Ok, I cherry-picked. And I re-ordered to prove a point. So what? I bet that I gave us more credit than we are due. In order of (my manipulated) importance, accompanied by my snide remarks:
- US consumer confidence is at an all time low. No one is buying off-road vehicles for the urban terrain.
- Banks are not lending and companies are not hiring because of confusion over the new laws that will go into effect over time. Would you like us to re-enact Glass-Steagull (that was eviscerated when the GOP was in control)? I bet you would take Dodd-Frank in a heart-beat. So, shut up.
- Did Anderson Cooper flub a critical question to Michele (Night of the Living Dead) Bachmann (two n’s so she is not a secret Jew) in the GOP Debate on Tuesday night? Does she have a cause of action if she loses the GOP nomination?
- The housing bubble has not bottomed out. So, the economy has to stop and wait for that.
- Unemployment is over 9% which is a reflection of the last 2.5 years and not of the implosion caused in the years that preceded it.
- People are occupying Wall Street and financial centers across the country because they don’t understand why the American Dream is out of reach, but aren’t they anarchists?
- Lindsay Lohan has to go back to jail because she overslept on her first day of community service.
- Stock prices are lower. “Euro Contagion,” baby. (Wait, don’t tell me, it must be an ad for “The Black Death Has Returned,” in movie theaters everywhere.)
- Qaddafi is dead after an insurrection against his brutal rule, but enough about that, oil prices are dropping and it is a sign of Obama’s failed domestic policies (I am still figuring out the latter).
- The Queen didn’t mind a curtsey malfunction in Australia. She is a woman of the people.
- Not all of the 99% pay federal tax (but they do pay state, local and sales tax). Nevertheless, they should be deported.
- The GOP candidates are talking crazy talk in their debates about how much less taxes we ought to pay (and Herman Cain would not tax used goods but food — which cannot be sold “used” or “pre-owned” — would be more expensive than ever) and how we need a fence across our entire southern border because Martians and other aliens are landing and illegally entering our country and taking our jobs. Who said the GOP doesn’t believe in UFOs?
- Israel negotiated with terrorists because the release of one soldier was worth freeing 1,000 Palestinians non-POWs (“If you save a life, it is as if you saved the world,” said a great rabbi; it was also a smart move to undermine Abbas and his UN bid for statehood).
- There are almost 9 billion humans in the world, at least 8 billion of whom live in abject poverty. And I worry about my retirement accounts.
- There is a faster and easier way to lose flab around your abs. You mean I can watch TV, drink red wine and eat french fries (not together) and the fat will melt away?
- Ashton’s and Demi’s marriage is on the rocks. I didn’t know they actually got married. Apparently, he thinks politics is sexy because . . . RIGHT before he was shtumping (I mean, stumping) for Obama.
- The best and worst Versace styles are available at H&M stores. He is dead, so I don’t get it.
- Jessica Simpson (who IS she?) wants money to talk about her pregnancy. It may be cheaper to buy “What to Expect When You’re Expecting”.
- There are ten HOT Halloween costumes for this year. You mean the French chambermaid outfit won’t work again this year?
Res ipsa loquitur.