On Thursday afternoon, I slipped into the bathroom of my office and transformed into a girlie-girl. I traded my clogs for pantyhose and heels and my turtleneck and blazer for a sleeveless black number that swirls when I walk, along with some serious bling and a full face of make-up. POB (partner of blogger) insisted on the serious bling (she wanted anyone who might flirt with me to know I was expensive). G-d bless her to think that someone at this outrageously hetero event (for which I was dressing up) would even look twice at me.
Of course, I ripped the hose as I put them on and — uh oh — this was not my pair of hose. POB and I are different sizes, so I felt the sli-i-i-i-ide down below my waist happening almost immediately. Ripped and sliding. Dressing up is always epic.
The event was a fundraiser for one of the most worthwhile organizations (outside of refugee relief) — The Hole in the Wall Gang camps for kids with life threatening illnesses.
I left my office to meet a colleague who was flying in for the event. We were going to the pre-party that started at 5pm. Nothing like alcohol at 5pm for pickling your brain. And goyishe hors- d’oeuvres — meat and cheese or pork. Not even mixed nuts for the Jews. I realize this is going to be a long night featuring a liquid buffet. And that is so not my cultural upbringing — run out of booze, ok. Run out of food? Change your name and leave town because you’ll never live it down.
We attended the main event — a concert at Avery Fisher Hall, featuring Meryl Streep (looking fab without plastic surgery), Emmy Lou Harris, John Cougar Mellencamp, Bill Cosby, Lyle Lovett (I kept thinking, Julia Roberts, really?), Bette Midler (who got middle-aged), Renee Zellwegger (she looked so much better before all the plastic surgery) and Stevie Wonder.
More important than these luminaries were the campers who helped emcee the show, and the video of Paul Newman, who together with Joanne Woodward, founded these camps. One of the campers belted out “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. I think everyone was crying. Here is a terminally ill tweenager singing THAT song. A song of the downtrodden, the sad, the defenseless, those with hopes and dreams that seem destined not to be realized. THAT song. My heart ached and my mascara ran all over my face.
Paul Newman (may he rest in peace) was so eloquent — in the video made some years ago — about why he started these camps. (I am paraphrasing, but I recollect it this way:) “I have been lucky all my life and I wanted to help people who only knew the other side of luck.” He is a good man but I hate his salad dressings.
He looked at luck as a zero-sum game. And if luck is a zero-sum game, then our luck means someone else has less (or no) luck. Contrast that with people who say today, “I make my own luck.” As if to impart that those who are “unlucky” don’t deserve success. Ok, let’s super-impose this paradigm on children. Can anyone with a sense of humanity say to a terminally ill child, “you could’ve made your own luck”?
Surely, we can share our good fortune — our luck — with the children. The children.
Of course the evening got lighter when Stevie started playing Cherie Amour and a few other standards. My colleague and I were standing and singing in Avery Fisher Hall while everyone else politely sat. After an evening of ill children with fight in their hearts, it was good to be on our feet and singing. It was life-affirming.
There was an after-party. Cheeseburger sliders were served. Really? Goyishe v’hetzi (150% non-Jewish). Still with the vodka drinks.
There was a Motown band and singers who were awesome. I dragged my colleague out on the dance floor. I told her, it’s New York, no one cares if two women dance. We totally rocked out. Of course, at that point my hose were dangling dangerously low like the pants on some young men and I was scared that they would just drop. And it was getting late and really I wanted to get home, get in bed and feel the serenity of having my family safe and asleep around me. We were waiting for Stevie Wonder to show up at the after-party so my colleague could meet her idol.
Finally he showed up and she was star struck and frozen in place. The batteries in her camera ran out. I had to elbow my way to spend a few minutes talking to Mr. Wonder while I motioned for her to get next to me. Mr. Wonder’s bodyguards were concerned that I was doing something dangerous and were ready to drop me. Finally she got near enough to put her hand on his shoulder and I snapped the photo using my blackberry. I thanked Mr. Wonder for his patience (and holding on to my hand for what seemed an eternity as my colleague got close) and the conversation and I receded into the crowd.
My colleague is on Cloud Nine. We have bonded. I can call her “friend” now. Without a hard-headed New Yorker, she would not have even gotten close to Mr. Wonder. As a friend, I tell her, “I have been in heels for seven hours, my pantyhose are almost falling off, and I need to go home now that we have a picture with you and Stevie Wonder.” I am walking you to your hotel and I am throwing myself in a cab. The alternative is to put a sign on you that says ‘return after 3 days to . . . .’ I would get to sleep but I would get fired. So you decide: How is this evening turning out?”
Having gotten a picture of Stevie Wonder, she didn’t put up a fight. Thank G-d. I got her back to her hotel and in 15 minutes I was in my comfy apple-green jammies in my comfy bed and ready to sleep.
I laughed, I cried, I danced, I shook hands with a celebrity, I was moved to help others. A great day.
