Heard on the subway platform

A woman on the phone passes me on the subway platform and I hear her say to the person on the other end of the conversion:

“If you are in a room with a murder, just LEAVE. [Staying there] was NOT smart!”

So many thoughts and comments collide in my head.  But, really, none is necessary.  All you need to do is let this woman’s admonishment wash over you and the nuances, the complexities and the insanity hidden in that simple sentence will crash in your head, too.  It is a little like going down the biggest slide in the most insane water park ever.  Enjoy, but please be careful not to drown.

Subway Story

How do I know that a business man on the subway has a young daughter?

The man is well-dressed except for his hat.  It has bear ears, nose and mouth and it ties under his chin.  I love a guy who has a daddy’s little girl.

The World’s Best Chewing Gum

I was on the subway, minding my own business.  I was reading a book on my iPod.  A woman standing next to me asks her boyfriend (it is obvious by the end of this anecdote) whether he wants some really great chewing gum.  He asks, “how good can chewing gum be?”  She says, “it makes you want to stick your tongue down someone’s throat.”  I had to look up.  I said, “really?”  She nodded.  I looked at the boyfriend questioningly.  He was too embarrassed to answer. I mentioned that it was too important a secret not to share with fellow strangers on a train.  In fact, it would be downright cruel to tantalize and not deliver.

The woman told me what kind and what flavor (I won’t tell you until I confirm this urban legend).

Life altering experiences on the subway.

No-Where-istan gets a national anthem

We No-Where-istanis need an anthem, something to rally around.  I was worried about how to choose the right song — a song to capture the mood, the state of mind (or whatever) and the gestalt of No-Where-istan.

On Friday, I was mulling this on my way into the subway.  The 42nd Street-Times Square Station often gives me inspiration.  Into the bowels of New York I descended.  I saw this woman getting ready to play her saxophone:

IMG00058

IMG00057

 

She did not ask for money,  just business cards.  She was just learning how to play, as in she would not make the B squad of the high school band.  Maybe she was an out-of-work Wall Streeter, trying to find her inner Marsalis.

Anyway, she started playing, of all things, No Where Man by the Beatles.  For all I know, she was trying to play On the Good Ship Lollipop, but No Where Man came out in fits and starts from her saxophone.  I was the only one who stopped.  More accurately, I was the only one not running away from the noise. 

Then I thought, “No Where Man.  No-Where-istan.  THAT’S IT!!!  It is a real No-Where-istan. . . .”

Another inspirational moment in the subway.

This nation-building thing is really coming together, eh?