From Ben to Bust in 234 years

Benjamin Franklin, a rock star of his generation, said, when signing the Declaration of Independence, “United we stand, divided we fall.”  Our founding fathers and the colonies, united, defeated a great and mighty empire.

Throughout our brief yet notable history, the cities of our nation were known for the dog-eat-dog way that fellow citizens treated their neighbors, eschewing the cornerstone of religious faith, all the while claiming to be part of the most upright of Christian nations.  But, outside the cities (or so I would like to think), neighbors helped each other and generations of families lived together, all working to keep everyone afloat.  Maybe it is the romantic myth of the heartland.  But, I am buying it, lock, stock and barrel.

Today, we live in a society where people are more worried about their morning lattes than they are about ending our two wars, reducing our crushing debt and the stopping all politicking, all of which threaten to bankrupt out nation.

There is no silver bullet cure for our woes.

I heard today that people say that the Congress should not have saved the 300,000 teacher and firefighter jobs because their unions are too strong and teachers earn too much for doing too little.  Ok, so, make the unions feel some pain, but does that justify keeping the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans?  The illogic is frightening and delusional.

So the great experiment started in 1776 is rounding the drain because of greed and me-first-middle-and-last mind think.

Well, I don’t know about anyone else, but I will forgo my Bush tax cut that I never wanted and didn’t need to pay for health care and to start reducing the deficit.

How about this:  we make giving up the tax cuts voluntary.  Just like the optional $1.00 gift to Wildlife Preservation (or is it public campaign finance?) on our tax forms.  Just put a line item on the 2010 tax return that says, “This is how much more you would pay if the Bush tax cuts lapsed.  Do you want to pay this amount (a) to reduce the deficit, (b) to pay for health care for the uninsured or (c) 50% to each?” and publish the list of people who contribute to these funds.

Maybe neighbors will embarrass neighbors into paying the money (because if you’re not on the list, either you’re selfish or you don’t make enough) or we have a pledge drive and use positive peer pressure.

Either way, Mr. President, I am with you for letting lapse the tax cut I never wanted and our nation couldn’t afford.

Going Nuclear with Dr. Strangelove

How do you get someone’s mind off a headache? A strong punch to the stomach.

How do you take someone’s mind off the environmental disaster caused by the massive oil leak? Detonate a nuclear warhead.

Really? Detonate a nuclear bomb to melt the ocean floor onto itself to stop the leak?  It is ok to try new things, like shooting debris in the hole to plug it, because what’s a little more pollution when millions of barrels of oil are gushing into the ocean each day. But a nuclear bomb? Yeah, let’s compound one threat to our future with an almost certain apocalyptic coda.

Someone said this nuclear fix is safe.  Someone also said deep water drilling is safe.  Someone said the Russians exploded nuclear bombs to stop pipeline leaks, but they never did it with oil, underwater and one mile down.  Oh, yeah, just like top kill was never tried underwater and one mile down.  Gee, I wish Anyone thought through how to fix something, let’s say an oil pipe, that far down below sea level before the accident.  Boy, I never met this Someone or Anyone, but Someone sure is crazy and Anyone should be fired.

But, this is America, where Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in heels.  So, if we look at everything ass backwards and upside down, it should work.  From that perspective, the nuclear option looks like a plan.  How about if all of the BP executives and the government officials who oversaw deep-water drilling put on some of Ginger’s old outfits and then tried to figure out what to do?  No, it wouldn’t add any brain cells (so still a zero sum game) but it would sure provide needed comic relief in the aftermath of the biggest threat to the safety of all living beings since the Ice Age.

Of course, no disaster is complete without the accompanying political grandstanding and fiascoes.  Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal wrote to the President enumerating the number of jobs that will be lost because of the moratorium on off-shore drilling, even as he decries the despoliation of his state’s shorelines and criticizes the administration’s slow response.

Maureen Dowd, who is becoming pathetic, says we got the President we voted for, as if that is a bad thing —  a clear-headed leader who doesn’t lead by his gut.  The President constantly overestimates our intelligence and ability to understand the important things.  And President Obama has to stop what he is doing to go on Larry King so that we are reassured he can feel our pain.  Because we need him to hug us and feel our pain while he is protecting us from our own stupidity.

We deserve to choke on the oil slick.

Tainted Beef, Still a Problem after 100 years

I read this weekend about a young girl paralyzed by eating a hamburger tainted with bacteria.

In the 1900s, reporters and journalists — among them Upton Sinclair, Lincoln Steffens and Ida Tarbell — wrote articles and books detailing, among other things, the unclean practices in meat-packing factories. 

One hundred years later, we still read about tainted meat.  Not in a third world country.  Right here in the USA.

It seems that most of the strides made in sanitary food preparation have been lost in the era of de-regulation. 

We need more and better inspectors and real, catastrophic economic sanctions against operators of packaging companies that produce tainted food.  In some of the most egregious cases, the unsanitary conditions are obvious to the untrained eye.  We need to make it too costly to produce unhealthy products.

How many more children must die or be crippled by E Coli or other dangerous bacteria festering in our food production plants?

Bernie, Bernie, Bernie — a mistress, yet?

The only thing that made you less despicable than the worst human ever was that you seemed to be a good husband who protected your wife and possible co-conspirator.  This was your only redemptive quality. It elevated you from crook to thief.

Ok, Bernie.  Look at you.  It wasn’t your good looks or witty repartee that landed you a mistress.  You are a shlub.  But you had a lot of other people’s money.  And for a long time, it bought you a mirror that when you looked in it, Superman looked back.

NEW YORK – Bernard Madoff‘s decades-long fraud might not have been his only secret. A new book says he had a two-decade affair with one of his investors.

That’s in a memoir by Sheryl Weinstein titled “Madoff’s Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie, and Me.” It goes on sale Aug. 25.

A spokesman for book publisher St. Martin’s Press said Friday the relationship between Weinstein and Madoff spanned more than 20 years. Both were married.

Madoff is serving 150 years in prison for defrauding investors. Weinstein says she met him when she was chief financial officer for the charitable women’s organization Hadassah.

Madoff attorney Ira Sorkin says he hopes the author “was more discreet with her investment obligations than she has allegedly been with her sex life.”

An attorney for Madoff’s wife, Ruth Madoff, says his client didn’t know about the “alleged affair.”

Thought for tomorrow July 24th (because I will be pondering this tomorrow, too)

There were more than 40 arrests in NJ today on any number of federal crimes. Many of the arrested were orthodox Jews, and RABBIS at that. Here are my two thoughts on this:

Religious people doing criminal things always makes me wonder how they think they’re closer to G-d.

Jews leave the corners of the cemeteries to bury thieves and prostitutes. I bet the cost of those graves in NJ sky-rocketed today.