I had a long talk with my retirement coach. 

What, you don’t have a retirement coach? 

Wait, you’ve never heard of a retirement coach? 

Where do you live?  Really, you live on the planet Earth?

Ok, I made it up.  That’s what I call my financial adviser.  Because, why would I need a financial adviser if not to help me retire as soon as possible and preferably before my death.  Otherwise, a financial adviser would just cause me pain every time I followed her advice and lost money.  But, if I call her a coach and I still lose money, then it feels like a competitive sport where I put on my “game face” and try to overcome my losing score to make my coach happy.   You would think every financial adviser would pay me to convince their clients to think of them this way.

The bad news is that I have to give up my dream of retiring at 62 to try my hand at stand-up comedy.  The good news is that I am healthy and can continue to work until I die.