Tag Archives: Life

The Flu that led the pigs to slaughter

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Ok, I am not a doctor (although sometimes I pretend to be among family and friends who know better).  And I don’t know much about the scientific origins of the N1H1 virus. 

I know this:  everyone is still going to call it Swine Flu.  Also, I know that I don’t want to imagine how humans got it from pigs (if that is even true).  Oops, too late.  Yuuuuuuuuuck.  Pause for composure.  Resume.

As I understand it (but unencumbered by information, knowledge or a medical degree), this strain of Swine Flu started in Mexico.  The contagion is brought about by human mobility. 

Nevertheless, some months back, Cairo decided to slaughter all the pigs in the city to protect against Swine Flu, although I find it hard to imagine airplanes full of pigs schlepping to visit their relatives in Mexico and bringing it back to Cairo.  Also, in a country with a Muslim super-majority, why are there pigs? 

Still, the irony is yet to come in this story.  After the pigs were slaughtered, the residents of Cairo were overwhelmed by garbage and unsanitary conditions.  Why? Because the pigs — among the most unsanitary of animals — ate the garbage and kept the streets clean (or cleaner).  Now, without the pigs, there is a real threat of disease from the mounds of rotting garbage.  Pigs were Cairo’s free sanitation system.  How crazy is that?

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Slapstick at the gym, starring me

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Ok, I have not kept up with my gym routine.  But this week I resolved to get back into shape (a pear with rhombus accents).  So I spent two days getting psyched and yesterday I went to the gym. 

First, I have to say in my defense that I am sleepwalking most mornings before 10am so while I thought I was packing a gym “outfit”, I was, in fact, packing a gym “misfit”.

I am in the locker room and to my horror I discover that I packed running tights that go down just below my knees and are form-fitting.  Two things to note — since Labor Day, I can’t remember when I shaved my legs, and if form-fitting looked good on me, I wouldn’t need to go to the gym.  I soldiered on and experienced the unpleasant sensation of my butt touching the backs of my legs and creeping around my body to engulf my hips.  If you are eating while you read this, please stop one or the other.

I have a geeky t-shirt that stops at my waist making “my look” particularly unattractive.  If my skin were pasty, I would have won the Woody Allen female impersonator award.  Not pretty a pretty sight at all.

Nevertheless, boldly, I go upstairs amid the lovely, the young and the buff and claim rights to a Stairmaster.  Not the easy pedal kind, but the full-on steps.  I am going to do 30 minutes no matter what.

After 5 minutes I think I will die.  Then I decide that I should have turned on my iPod that is lying on the tray all tangled.  I am trying to untangle the iPod, while on Stairmaster and wearing bi-focals.  Well that lasted for less than a second because I am crumpled on the ground having banged my head.  Buff, beautiful and thin people come over, offering helpful excuses like, did you have a seizure?  Did you have a drink before going on Stairmaster?  Have you eaten?  No, in fact, multi-tasking on a Stairmaster when you are a klutz AND you are wearing bi-focals is stupid, but not an illness recognized by the medical community or any support group known to me.

Bruised, but undaunted, I return to the Stairmaster to conquer this beast.  I start the program over AND I up the level from 5 to 6.  I’ll show the machine who is boss.  I make sure to put my ear phones in first.  But after 5 minutes, I am ready to collapse.  I decide it is time to email my college friends to catch up.  At some point I knocked my ear phones out while thumbing a message on my blackberry.  Ah!! Another trick, you dangerous and mean Stairmaster!! You want me to retrieve my ear phones so that I can fall off again.  No, I say, NO!!!  I will not succumb to your evil tricks!! The ear phones are not near any mechanism.  I WILL CONTINUE FOR 30 MINUTES AND MY FORM FITTING OUTFIT WILL LOOK BETTER FOR IT!!

I spend the next 20 minutes on Stairmaster looking at the closed captioning on the TV screens (the bifocals did come in handy, or seemed to, anyway).  I am bored out of my mind.  But I am determined to burn 200 calories and climb over 2 miles.  I even do the 1.5 minute warm down after the 30 minutes are over.  Take THAT, you evil machine.

Triumphant, I walk around the gym floor looking at other tortures waiting to be vanquished.  Then I catch sight of my gym stalker in the mirror — that middle-aged gray haired lady getting a little thick around the middle.   You remember, the one who looks suspiciously like my mother.  I sigh.  My reflection and I have had enough of the gym for today.  We go home together.

But there is always tomorrow . . . . . .

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FOOTBALL — Orrin Hatch’s Legislative Priority

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You can’t make this stuff up. 

We are fighting for economic recovery, we are fighting two wars, we are fighting multiple insurgents in the health care industry, we are trying to save the planet from our carbon emissions, we are trying to prevent nuclear proliferation and SENATOR ORRIN HATCH WANTS THE PRESIDENT TO INTERVENE ON COLLEGE FOOTBALL BOWL CHAMPIONSHIPS?

Sen. Hatch says there is some antitrust violation involved in the way the championships are decided.  Senator, there may be another antitrust violation, too.  It involves health care.  Maybe you read about it.

Orrin, Orrin, Orrin.  Do we live on the same planet?  Don’t you have pressing matters of state in the Senate that require your UNDIVIDED focus?  Are our national problems a joke to you?  If you were a senator from New York, I would start a campaign to recall you.

By the way, in No-Where-istan, we have no organized sports leagues.  Since No-Where-istan lives in my head, cleats would be painful.

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 By FREDERIC J. FROMMER, Associated Press Writer Frederic J. Frommer, Associated Press Writer – 1 hr 9 mins ago

WASHINGTON – Shortly after winning last year’s presidential election, Barack Obama said he was going to “to throw my weight around a little bit” to nudge college football’s Bowl Championship Series to move to a playoff system.

On Wednesday, Sen. Orrin Hatch took him up on that.

Hatch asked the president to launch a Justice Department investigation into the way the BCS — a complex system of computer rankings and polls that often draws criticism — crowns its national champion.

“Mr. President, as you have publicly stated on multiple occasions, the BCS system is in dire need of reform,” Hatch, R-Utah, wrote in a 10-page letter, obtained by The Associated Press.

Hatch, who held a hearing on the BCS in July, told Obama that a “strong case” can be made that the BCS violates antitrust laws.

[rest of article omitted]

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Mr. President, please let me see you sweat

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Mr. President, I am sweating.  I am sweating the outcome of the healthcare reform votes.  I am sweating the outcome of financial system reform.  I am sweating the recession.  I am sweating Iranian nuclear proliferation.  I am sweating global warming.  I am sweating more troops in Afghanistan, which just seems to be a quagmire.  In short, everything on the micro-level of my life seems still as precarious as it was when you were elected. 

We elected you in part for your No Drama Obama comportment and you words of empowerment and calm assurance.  But now I want to see you sweat, too, Mr. President, in a take charge way.  Twist some arms to get the reform you promised.  Support the process of stripping health care insurers of the anti-trust immunity if they are bad players. 

LBJ was not Mr. Nice Guy when it came to getting Medicare passed.  And generations of Americans are in his debt.

Mr. President, be principled, be honorable and please be ready to rumble in order to get things done.

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It is time for us to make things again in this country

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Toxic drywall?  Lead in children’s toys?  Poison in toothpaste? US souvenir shop trinkets “made in China”?  Disposable furniture?

This is not economic protectionism.  This is health protection and consumer protection (Ok, not the trinkets in the souvenir shops or the furniture.)  These are valid reasons to make the products here, subject to our health and safety standards.  (Which could use some updating — new recall of beef today.)

Yeah it is cheaper to import the stuff, until the first child died, and then the price was too high.  And that was years ago and still we import this stuff.

I am not advocating tariffs, because that is not the point. 

Let’s make things again in this country.  If it costs a little more then we will think twice before we toss it out for the new model.  We will actually save money by investing in quality things that last awhile.  And it is good for the economy and environment, too.

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Insurers dropping Chinese drywall policies

By BRIAN SKOLOFF, Associated Press Writer – Thu Oct 15, 10:45 am ET

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. – James and Maria Ivory’s dreams of a relaxing retirement on Florida’s Gulf Coast were put on hold when they discovered their new home had been built with Chinese drywall that emits sulfuric fumes and corrodes pipes. It got worse when they asked their insurer for help — and not only was their claim denied, but they’ve been told their entire policy won’t be renewed.

Thousands of homeowners nationwide who bought new houses constructed from the defective building materials are finding their hopes dashed, their lives in limbo. And experts warn that cases like the Ivorys’, in which insurers drop policies or send notices of non-renewal based on the presence of the Chinese drywall, will become rampant as insurance companies process the hundreds of claims currently in the pipeline.

[rest of article omitted]

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Out of the mouths of babes come truths

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At a town hall meeting, a fourth grader asked President Obama why everyone hated him.

I think we should stop wondering about the kid who was NOT aloft in a hot air balloon and we should think about what this fourth grader asked the President. It is easier to wonder about hot air balloon boy, his family’s interest in science experiments and their appearance as contestants on “Wife Swap”.  Putting this family under a microscope helps us avoid bigger and, dare I say, more important, issues.

Focusing on the fourth grader’s question requires us to look at how we behave.

We have to examine the tenor of our disagreements, the personal nature of the attacks, our fears for the future of our way of life and our desperate anxiety about not being all powerful on the international stage.

From the simplicity of his question, the following things came to mind:

1. We need to disengage from the-ends-justify-the-means view.  There is another word for “means” and that word is “barbarism” — i.e., torture, character assassination, lies, bribes, etc.

2. Passion for one’s cause not require person attacks, lies and defamation.  Passion is evident in the force of one’s argument and tireless efforts promoting the cause.

3. There is room for the loyal opposition.  When did we forget the phrase, “my country, right or wrong”?

The goal should be fair and open, vigorous and informative debate, “deciders” act for the common welfare and everyone abides by the result.  If losing means you make up lies and propaganda and continually do things disrespectful of the government, then you don’t deserve to be a citizen.    I was pretty unhappy when GW Bush was declared winner in 2000 and elected in 2004 and every time he did something with which I disagreed, I always hoped that his decisions were right.  Because if he were, the country would suffer.

4.  We must be willing to see the flaws in our own arguments.

I’ll start.  I believe that the public option insurance is necessary, but no one can predict the price tag and it really could be too costly right now.  Maybe in five years, we could afford it.

Also, Afghanistan is a quagmire with a corrupt government.  Nation-building is always a disaster.  I don’t believe that President Obama should send more troops.  In fact, we should remove our troops and seek a relationship with a fairly elected government.  But we should continue to bomb out Al-Qaeda.  (I’m feeling pretty extreme this afternoon.)

Now, let’s look at the GOP who use the slogan, “America First”.  WAIT, do you think Democrats don’t put America first?  Are you delusional?

Let’s look at the facts of the GOP’s putting America first:

  1. Under GOP leadership, manufacturing jobs went overseas in astounding numbers, and promoted the burgeoning economies of India and China.
  2. Refusal to meet with Iran (and GWB’s botching of several opportunities for some sort of freeze) only increased its determination to build nuclear weapons.
  3. The war in Iraq made us indebted to the Chinese government in an insane amount.
  4. Our armies cannot continue another war without a DRAFT.
  5. Our need for fossil fuels has made Russia a necessary player.
  6. De-regulation almost brought this mighty nation to its knees and then the small government politicians had to bailout the banks (SOCIALISM, anyone?)

Now, explain to me again why the GOP blames President Obama for having to forge new diplomatic relationships and alliances?

(Now tell me the truth.  Was I ranting?)

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Run home. Run like the wind.

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This was my sister’s plea to me while I was away on my business trip to Texas.  Run home.  Run like the wind.

That was after I told her about the sign prohibiting weapons in the bar/lounge.  (Why do people need to be reminded that weapons don’t belong in a bar/lounge.

Renting a car in a city of freeways invites problems, especially for me, someone born and bred on the Island of Manhattan, amd driving in the Big Country.  But it is ok to have lapses of judgment on the little things.  I just hate having to ask people to call taxis for me everywhere.  I thought I would feel more in control having a car.  Also, I had a few different meetings scheduled during my trip. 

I had a GPS gizmo.  I kept typing in LBJ Freeway which, by the way, is the largest vehicular artery into Dallas, and the GPS gizmo didn’t recognize it.  Everyone calls it LBJ Freeway, so it never occurred to me to type in Lyndon Baines Johnson Freeway.  Doesn’t GPS recognize “JFK Airport”?  So I was driving blind, knowing only that LBJ Freeway is 635 and I wanted to go east.  Dallas is sprawling so I was driving for what felt like hours and seemed not any closer to anything looking like a business district.  I did make it finally, with my brother’s help in the last few minutes, so I could meet him for lunch.  GPS worked after that. 

It was a good trip and I saw friends and family and did a little business.  But, I missed my family and was ready to come home. 

I tried to get an earlier flight, which was already delayed 3 hours.  Sometimes I was No. 2 on standby and sometimes I was kicked to No. 10.  No one could tell me why.  The attendants wouldn’t let a husband and wife fly together, but they bumped me as I was about to get on the plane because a 20-something woman needed to connect in NY for a flight to VT for a wedding weekend that started the next day (with wedding probably on Sunday).  No one asked if it was ok with me. I would have said, “sure” but I would have insisted on priority standby status in return. So, of course, the airline staff knew better than to ask me or make eye contact with me. That enraged me but I kept it in check, since I don’t break FAA or TSA rules because Homeland Security still makes me think of Dick Cheney and so it freaks me out. And I dropped to 22 on standby for the next oversubscribed plane that was also delayed.

So I just went to the counter of the NEXT flight and met a perky customer assistant who told me there were 20 unsold seats on the flight.  I knew that all the people ahead of me on the new standby list would fill those seats, so I paid a transfer fee and got a seat with a seat assignment and everything.  Then all the angry people who didn’t get on the second flight came storming through the airport to get on my flight.  Cost of transfer ticket: $50; the smug feeling that you’ve outsmarted the hoards: priceless.

All of this so, as a result of delays, I could leave LATER than my original departure. But I think my scheduled flight was canceled because after awhile, LaGuardia shuts down. The thoughts of being trapped in the Republic another night and staying at an airport hotel were more than I could handle.

My earlier smugness had a karmatic boomerang effect.  The man across the aisle on the plane was really loud and was the kind of guy who acts as if all the world’s his stage and every comment is for his benefit and requires his response. Then he had two gin and tonics. The perfunctory handing out of the ear phones was cause for a lively (no, actually, deadly, deadly boring and exasperating) exchange between this guy and the flight attendant. I put my ear plugs in just to close out the noise.

All in 9 hours either in an airport or on a plane.

So while I wanted to run, run like the wind, I schlepped in a glorified cargo pit. G-d, I love this City, even the gross cab air freshener.

 

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Republic of Texas

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Just today a Dallas newspaper had an article about secession.  It posited that more people outside Texas than inside would like the state to secede from the Union.

I saw my brother for lunch.  My sister-in-law suddenly got sick at the sight of me and begged off lunch.  I am trying not to connect the dots.

I sat in the bar/lounge of my hotel, waiting for my friends for dinner, and saw a sign that weapons are not allowed in the bar/lounge.  I’m from New York City, where grit and crime are part of the  urban landscape, and I have never seen such a sign.  I suddenly felt safer in NY.  At least I know that in No-Where-istan, that fabulous, mythical place, there are no weapons, concealed or otherwise.

Actually, given that my hotel was in the seamy part of Dallas (my secretary allowed “cost-cutting” to go too far), I am feeling like I am in an area of Dallas that, if this were NY, would be called Fort Apache, The Bronx.

But no gunfights so far, so I don’t really feel like I am in the Republic of Texas.  This is already a long, strange trip and Jerry Garcia had the benefit of drugs.

republc

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More stress dreams

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Last night, I dreamed I forgot to graduate from law school.  But I forgot to dream about computer malfunctions so, sure enough, computer malfunctions abound in the office today.  Because everything is mechanized, even the fax machine goes straight to a scanner which doesn’t function in a system malfunction.  I think all legal documents should have as an excuse for performance — along with acts of G-d, civil unrest, widespread labor strikes — a computer malfunction that renders lawyers useless (ok, more useless).

Thank G-d we have a second fax line that spits out faxes using paper (of all things), like the old days.  I have had to dictate letters to secretaries in other offices. 

I am thinking about a whole new PBS kids show: “Dinosaur Lawyer”.  Lawyering before computers and other amenities made us soft.  Back to the days of hand-to-hand/pen-to-pen combat.  Where if you wanted to be snarky, you had to say it to the person as opposed emailing the snarky comment from the safety of your computerized bunker.

In a separate stress reality, the news has been reporting all day that the Senate Finance Committee’s vote is imminent.  VOTE ALREADY.  You’re stressing me out.

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A typical day in my life

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Crazy day on the road to Utopia.

I had every textbook stress dream a person can have.  Teeth falling out.  Not being dressed at work.  Having to use the bathroom in front of people.  Having to take an exam in a course at school I thought I dropped.  Running and never making it where I need to go.  Have I missed any?  

I woke up in a cold sweat and groggy. My partner thinks it is because she put too much garlic in that new recipe she tried last night. While the amount of garlic was indeed impressive and did require a Tums or 5, it didn’t cause my bad dreams.  Those I was able to conjure up all by myself.

So, I was exhausted when I started the day at the office.  I was able to get some work done before my computer crashed.  Apparently, everyone else’s computers worked.  Mine was the only one frozen.  Maybe it happened because I didn’t have a stress dream about it.  Note to self: Don’t get out of bed until you’ve had EVERY stress dream imaginable.

I walked to the east side to have lunch with a friend.  I bumped into the Columbus Day parade.  A sad little affair with marchers dressed up in period clothes to look like people of Columbus’s time.  If you want to parade, go to Randall’s island. Get out of my way in midtown.  Although I did get perverse pleasure in being jostled into an Orthodox Jewish man who would not otherwise touch me lest I were ritually unclean (I was not).

I did have an opportunity to pass by a prayer station.  I’m not kidding.  See?  Prayer is fine, but you think with all those who are praying, something would have changed by now.mail

I had a really fun lunch with my friend who is so hysterically funny.  Because I want to maintain confidentiality of my sources, her stories will come out over time.

After fighting my computer for the rest of the day (the computer won), I went home on the train.  There was a guy drizzling hot sauce on top of the hugest falafel I have ever seen, as he was swaying in the subway car.   Shreds of lettuce were falling out of his mouth as he ate. I needed to switch cars at the next stop.  In my next car, there was an angry child demanding “eye contact” from his mother and saying hateful things in jags and spurts. I think I witnessed a portrait of a sociopath as a young child.  They got off and a bike messenger who reeked of pot got on and everything got sooooo mellow.

A day in the life.

Off to bed.  To sleep, perhaps to dream.  (Maybe I’ll make a pot of coffee and stay awake to keep the dreams at bay.)

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