A person is as a person is, dead or alive

Death doesn’t erase parts of a person that are more conveniently forgotten or “forgiven”.  As Elie Wiesel once said, only the victims [or hurt parties] can forgive. Leave the cleansing for G-d. Not that I want only to harp on the allegations or the bizarre physical transformations swirling around Michael Jackson. We just need to recognize the complexities of a person and then give that person his or her due. Because each of us is a jumble of good and bad impulses and acts. 

I think we idolize “winners”.  And our “winners” cannot have feet of clay or disappoints their fans, so they either fall from grace or their sins are overlooked.  Unless, of course, the erstwhile “winner” emerges triumphant from adversity and then we have an inspirational Sunday movie about it.

Michael Jackson — why all of him matters

No one fits neatly into the pigeon holes our society creates for us.

Look at my statistics:

I am not married to the mother of my child but we live together (we are waiting for same sex marriage to be legal) so we have a “child AT RISK” .  “At risk” for what is never spelled out but clearly it is beyond what a civil society can bear.

I have a high paying job and we own our home so we are upstanding members of the community.

I am a finance lawyer so I am a blood sucking parasite who doomed our economy.

We have our widower fathers over to dinner on Sunday nights along with my sister and brother-in-law so we are the Cleavers or Ozzie and Harriet.

We are members of a synagogue, so we are righteous.

We have never railed against heterosexuality, so we are prophets.

We are lesbians so we are dangerous to family values and a scourge.

We love this nation and we were against the Iraqi war, so for 8 years we were unpatriotic enemy sympathizers.

Call me Sybil.

To have a voice in this chaotic world

I often wonder why I wanted to start a blog. Probably because in this loud, crowded world I wanted to carve out a space for my voice. Today was a weird day for me. We are a gay family — two women with a young boy.  Our synagogue sent a general email burst to tell us that a religious hate group — the same group that celebrates every death in Iraq and picketed at Matthew Shepard’s funeral — were coming to protest at our synagogue this morning. Now, let’s think about that. We are a family and members of a synagogue, and today we were having a birthday party for our son. Imagine, the Cleavers (only not so much) with the Beav — we work, we pay our taxes, we are good neighbors, we have the grandparents and aunts and uncles to dinner every Sunday night, we do and give charity, we try to balance career with family, our son’s education and health comes first and his job in life, among others, is to do more for the next generation than we did for him. Why again is anyone protesting my life? My loving family somehow undermines the lives and futures of a poverty-level family without health care and without job training? If I were Republican I could see how my political, social and economic views would undermine that family. But I am a Democrat, willing to pay extra in taxes for universal health care, for prenatal care, for job retraining. And I assure you that amount I pay in taxes every year would shock that family. So, I am a tax-paying (and willing to pay more), synagogue going, hard-working, family woman who loves her partner and her son more than anything in the world. Oh, I am a lesbian. Ahhhhh, THAT’s it. Whaaaaaat?