As usual, SOB (sister of blogger), HOSOB (husband of blogger), DOB (dad of blogger), COB (cousin of blogger), POB (partner of blogger), Blogger and our son have dinner together at our house on Sunday nights. Our son calls the crowd, the “Regulars” (as in, “[Blogger], are the Regulars coming over this weekend?”). Often, after a funny story told by one of the assembled family, our son sometimes says to me, “[Blogger], why don’t you blog about that?” (Put that under the category of “Kids Say the Darndest Things”.)
Fresh Direct was scheduled to deliver groceries between 4pm and 6pm. DOB came at 4pm; Fresh Direct came at 6pm. In fact, as DOB ages, he is coming earlier and earlier. I think that is why restaurants offer early bird specials — the elderly set factor in so much time to get where they are going that, even though they intend to eat dinner at 6:30pm, they arrive at the restaurant at 4:30pm. So, if my rough calculations are correct, in just five short years, when DOB is 95, he will be showing up at brunch time. So we will have to have new menu options by then. Fair warning.
As I said, the Fresh Direct delivery came at 6pm. In our house, we play FDF (Fresh Direct football), which means that I throw non-glass groceries to our son, who runs it into the kitchen where POB puts them away. Sometimes, I follow in pursuit for a two-hand touch tackle. For glass (and milk), I do a pass off and our son runs it in. Less yardage but the quarterback can’t always pass. Sometimes, the vegetables look a little mangled and bruised if the pass is incomplete, but it still tastes fine. POB is unconvinced but keeps her opinions in the “if looks could kill” category. That works because I just look away.
SOB and HOSOB were at the house while we were playing FDF and SOB was a guest quarterback for a few clutch plays. I could tell she was a bit overwhelmed by the number of boxes and volume of foodstuffs that required cooking and preparing. SOB and HOSOB have been married for only a few years and, before that, SOB mostly lived alone and out of prepared food cartons. Even now, their refrigerator is a little post-apocalyptic (see http://40andoverblog.com/?p=2355 for pictures).
The expression on her face as she looked at the Fresh Direct boxes suggested that she found this somewhat foreign cultural activity charming and said to HOSOB pointing to the now empty boxes, “Groceries. [pause.] Groceries. We should have groceries, too!” (Dear SOB, most people buy groceries.)
HOSOB, looking a little scared, said “What would we do with them?” Oh, sweet, HOSOB, you and SOB can do nothing with groceries. You need to stick with what works — take-out.