Category Archives: Life

Vacations, staycations and parkations

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I don’t know when the phrase “staycation” moved into the lexicon, but my partner and I started about three years to go on a semi-annual weekend away in New York City (where we live) while trusted people stayed with our beloved little (ok not so little anymore) baby. 

It was a vacation without travel hassles and delays, without time lost getting somewhere and we live in a one of the greatest cities.  Also, we could be a cab ride away from our son or our fathers (who are widowers) should anything happen.  What I really mean is that we would always be a cab ride away from any emergency room in Manhattan because I always imagine the worst.  The old joke about a jewish mother’s calling a relative and saying, “worry! I will tell you later why,” captures my personality exactly.  I can go from a stubbed toe to nuclear holocaust in 5 seconds.  (If ,let’s say, Kim Dong Il stubs his toe and gets really mad, then he wants to lash out . . . . you see how this gets out of hand.)  But, I digress.

So we love staycations.  We also have vacations with our son.  Let me be more precise.  Prior to the Great Recession, we had staycations and vacations.  Today we had a parkation.  G-d bless the conservancies and public-private partnerships that keep our city parks and waterfronts habitable.  I would humbly ask for more sanitary rest rooms, and I am grateful that I have a son so I don’t often have to yell, “squat!! NOOOOOO sitting!!”

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sidewalk dining

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After I derided al fresco sidewalk dining, I decided that I needed to try it because I am turning over a new leaf and not being AS judgmental (though, never fear, still judgmental, as no one would recognize me otherwise). My analysis in a word: dreadful. People standing around, some smoking and others simply standing around. Then comes the traffic. What is fascinating is that a truck doesn’t need the metal plate covering a street hole to make that insanely annoying “clank” sound. As in every one of life’s experiences, I have learned something new (whether or not useful is not the issues) about the nuances of street noise. But I lost my appetite. Grilled sardines and octopus, anyone?

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turn the positive into negatives — or vice versa — whatever

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My fabulous college friends without whom life would not be as rich and fulfilling, came up with the TNP principle. Turn Negative into Positive. In order to get my friends to read my blog, I need to focus not on the peculiarities of human existence but on the good of the human condition. So I shall (for a moment and then discard in favor of the usual cynicism). I have noticed a politeness on NY’s subways that I hadn’t notice before the economic crisis (maybe people are starting to believe that karma is in fact a boomerang — stop, I am being cynical again). On at least three occasions since March or so, young people have offered to give up their seats on the train if I wanted to sit down. I gently and appreciatively declined all offers because contrary to my obviously enfeebled looking state, I AM a ROBUST 45 year-old who can play a very physical game of invasion of the aliens with her 7 year-old. (Note to self: consider hair painting — the new name for highlights — to cover the gray, or as my college friends endorse, take a brown Sharpie to my hair and voila!) Ok maybe this is not what my friends thought of as TNP. I’m trying. Change is a 12-step process. (Ok, 11 step because I am asking NO ONE for forgiveness, at least not for my cynicism. There are too many other topics and bad traits for which I need to ask forgiveness.)

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Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

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So don’t deaths happen in threes? Michael Jackson, a complicated legend who lived as a child until his death, and Farrah Fawcett, a 70’s cultural sensation as a giggling detective (in a bathing suit) in the age of the feminist movement. I don’t know these people but they bookmark points in my life. Just their mention evoke memories of times and places — some good memories, others not so much . Since the child molestation accusations against Michael Jackson, I have not been able to listen to his music. I am not in a court of law and I do not choose to separate the artist from the alleged predator. Others will disagree (but this is my blog).

The silver lining is that Jon & Kate will fall off the news cycle. I have never seen (or wanted to see) the show. All that I have learned about them is the result of Jon’s infidelity. (Hmmm. Another thread running through stories, huh, Gov. Sanford). The bad news is that Iran, North Korea, Myanmar and health care, global warming and financial system reform and other critical issues will also fall off the news cycle.

All as we mourn people we don’t know but think we know. I guess I understand mourning people we don’t really know. I was very sad when the former Chief Judge of the US Bankruptcy Court for the SDNY, Tina L. Brozman, died. She was an incredible role model for me as a young lawyer appearing before her. She had the self-confidence to be polite and gracious in her courtroom. She was fiercely intelligent. Once she dressed me down in court. She taught me many lessons. I remember lighting a candle for her along with those for my mother and grandparents on Yom Kippur the year that she died. Because I guess people, even unintentionally, impact the lives of others. It is an awesome power, really. That each of us could be a role model for good or for bad to those around us. What a powerful connection that ties one human to another.

So bad things happen in threes? Let’s hope the third casualty is Gov. Sanford’s career.

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Desperately seeking meaning

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I don’t want to seek meaning in religion. I want to seek meaning in the here and now. In something that contributes to the common weal (to use a pre-1800s word) and pays the insane mortgage — i.e., a conspicuously consumptive do-gooder. Corporate law does satisfy my task-oriented personality and does tap my problem-solving talents, but is that evolution or devolution? Did my grandparents endure what they did so that I should get “soft” doing this? They were as surely frontiers people as those who settled the West, only they didn’t commit genocide on Native Americans. A difference I enjoy pointing out.

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Urban life doesn’t need to be anonymous

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40 years ago, NY was a small town in many ways. If my mom and I were out doing errands or whatever, and Mrs. Moorestein or Mrs. Freeman or Mrs. Graham were on the street, there was no way that we passed them by without stopping and visiting and I had to show my best five year-old manners. And they scared me because they were ADULTS with booming voices. As of two years ago, Mrs. Moorestein still lived nearby my father and we hugged and kissed when we saw each other. We had been neighbors for decades.

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