So we have been torturing our son with our rendition of the parents’ back-to-school jig made famous on last year’s Staples commercials. Our son is alternatively amused, and a bit peeved, at his parents’ dancing around like we’ve won the lottery.
After much lobbying, we agreed reluctantly to buy our son Lunchables for the first day of school only. Lunchables is some chemical and saline combo-fest that passes as food per the FDA. There is a special place in hell for parents who feed Lunchables to their kids. Of course, the mushballs that we are, we also ate dinner out and let our son have french fries since it was — after all — the night before school FINALLY starts. He did have a grass-fed beef burger at least. POB (partner of blogger) swears we are just going to put a salt lick in our son’s room to satisfy his salt lust; we are not sure how to deal with the grease lust. Seriously, he would give us up in a New York minute if someone guaranteed him french fries every day for life. No contest.
It is the middle of September and he is just now going back to school. Now I understand it when my parents used to say — sarcastically, I assure you — that they paid private school tuition so we could have more vacation than at public school. In 1971, when SOB (sister of blogger) started at a private school in Manhattan (where nearly all the students were Jewish), my dad had to go to school and speak to the headmaster to make sure that a teacher had to postpone a test scheduled for Yom Kippur. Even in 1981 at our little private school, Jewish students were excused from class on the High Holy Days but school was open. Now, schools in Manhattan give off the major Jewish holidays, as a matter of course. A lot has happened in 30 years. Maybe next year, the kids will have off for the festival end of Ramadan. It is only fair.
