Tag Archives: Life

The horn of plenty in the midst of the dust bowl

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Last night I was in an expensive, still trendy, restaurant and the place was PACKED. 

Maybe everyone there was entertaining out of town guests like I was.  

Maybe that’s why it is hard to understand the true nature of our economic problems and how close we still are to the precipice.  Because we all thought economic Armageddon would look like something out of “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome” or some other post-apocalyptic film.

Maybe not everyone in the Great Depression were like Ma or Pa Joad. Or, for that matter, like my parents and grandparents, TGFOB (two generations of family of blogger). Barely getting by, barely enough food to eat.  Hey, I am not suffering like them either because I am eating at this restaurant, too, but I am constantly gripped by the fear of homelessness. (I love the freedom that 25 years, coming out as a lesbian, and being in a loving relationship afford.)

I overheard a group talking about the burden of taxes. I thought, DUDES, you’re still earning money.  No one realizes that it is dumb luck that we are not like Ma and Pa Joad or TGFOB.

This reminds me of the conversation I had at my 25th college reunion with a guy who — how do I describe it — was not so much a friend but from time to time over for years we had the “benefits”.  In our first conversation in more than 25 years, he mentions the European bank taxes and complains that they unfairly punish him.  I couldn’t hide my disgust at his words (and at my own poor judgment so many years ago) and said maybe a little too firmly (and with a lot of “edge” to it), “Suck it up. There are people here without jobs. There was a lot of collateral damage and innocent people were punished for the stupidity of a few so if all it costs you is a few extra dollars, then pay it and feel lucky.”  (I

By the way, I feel really lucky, and I am scared every day that my luck will run out.  In the meantime, we eat out every now and again.

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Aging

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My brother-in-law is turning some age older than 55. He looks great and is handsome, charming and lively — a good catch.

The question is: when did I start thinking that some guy with ever-so-slightly thinning gray hair is a rock star? I guess one could also ask how the septuagenarian Mick Jagger keeps rock star status. My brother-in-law is way cuter: no one would ever think he had the blood sucked out of him and then re-infused with formaldehyde so he could look like the walking dead like Mick Jagger. But there I go, digressing again.

My point is (and — SURPRISE — I have one) that we look decrepit to 20-somethings, but who cares? As long as we look at our contemporaries and think we are looking good, isn’t that what matters?

I am starting to understand my mother’s saying she thought of herself as 35, even when she was 70 and she thought of Dad as 42 even when he was 77. The point is that mild cataracts perform an essential social function necessary for the survival of the species.

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Some Like It Hot

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The temperature hit 102º in New York City.  That is hot.  And everyone is complaining.  As if air-conditioning were a G-d-given human right.

Doesn’t anyone remember that there was no (consistent) air conditioning in subways and on buses until the mid 1980s?  So, everyone, chill (as it were).

It is hot out but if you are young (or middle-aged, like me) and healthy, suck it up a little and drink plenty of water.  Save the electricity for the young, the elderly and the infirm.  You’ll also help save the Polar Bears, reduce over-consumption and probably perserve the planet for our children. 

Also, save electricity for the world’s heads of state.  They all have to keep cool, too, in this crisis-ridden world.

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Hot Town, Summer in the City

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On Sunday, I went for a run along the Hudson River.  The City has constructed a bike/walk/run path all along the River.  It is really terrific.

Sunday was hot, hot, HOT in the City.  So, City dwellers actually had a fair reason to be scantily-clad (as opposed to other days when there is no good reason to flash so much flesh).  And runners were especially scantily clad.

I, on the other hand, wore knee-length, tight-fitting shorts under the usual running shorts.  If my legs didn’t do a jello impression when I ran, I would have just used the short running shorts.  But I am 46 and, at a certain age, more clothes are way more attractive.  So, athletic gear goes into my “more is better” category. Compared to others, I was dressed like a nun.

I am not a runner for the sake of running.  I run so that I can fit into my clothes.  I run outside sometimes so that my skin doesn’t have that pallor sported by Woody Allen.  Clearly, I will take any opportunity to stop.  By the time ran to the 79th Street Boat Basin, I was tired, bored of running, and wondering about do-it-yourself liposuction with a vacuum.  So, I stopped. Running that is.  I didn’t stop thinking about the DIY liposuction.

While I was heaving and coughing and making a mental note to Google liposuction, I noted two couples walking along the water.  The women had on hose and skirts and little jackets and the men were in ties and pin-stripe suits.  This was not the orthodox Jewish look and even orthodox Jews try to look a little casual on Sundays (as if just wearing a baseball cap will make a person forget the long beard, black coat, long hair locks and prayer garment fringes).

These were not the usual Sunday Church-goers.  The pin-stripes and the pantyhose indicated they were a special type of Church-goers. Of course, I had to investigate further and walked over to them as they looked out onto the Hudson River.  As a cover, I coughed and heaved a little more.

Before they moved away from me because I sounded like I had a dread disease AND I was sweating profusely, I saw that they had name tags (so convenient for me).  These were the kind that a hotel concierge has; ones that are used daily.  No throw-away types.  These people DO what their name tags say and what they do required TWO lines of print:

BELIEVERS IN THE

LORD JESUS CHRIST

Well, all right, then.  No other name necessary, I guess.  JC will cover it.

I walked away a little overwhelmed.  (And, wished I had a Dyke March t-shirt.)  Maybe I should have asked whether they were in town to catch some theater.  Maybe they were taking in a little theater while walking along the River.  Life IS a carnival.  And maybe they were someone else’s street theater, too.

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Signs and Portents in New York

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Yesterday I was walking past a building where a delivery was being made.  I couldn’t see the company logo, just the shirt backs of the two delivery men.

One said, “The First Guy,”

and the other said, “The Other Guy“.

Funny and true and sad.  We readily let two guys into our apartment and we have no idea their names.  If we had to talk about the delivery, we would say, “the First Guy asked where we wanted the sofa and the Other Guy brought it in on the wheely-thing and then the First Guy asked me to sign the receipt.”

Reminds me of my housekeeper years ago when I was a bachelorette.  I left a relationship (and moved out) and took over the lease of my friend’s apartment together with all of the contents that she wasn’t taking to her new apartment with her girlfriend.  I even got the housekeeper, Olga.  Except Olga didn’t do the work.  She had her “cousin”, Marta, do the work. I saw Marta once (Russian, bad blonde dye job) and wouldn’t recognize her if I fell over her.  I was embarrassed not to be able to recognize her, so, on Fridays, I would get up early and walk down the stairs so I wouldn’t run into her.  (Of course, she wouldn’t know me either.)  If I saw anyone of her vague description within a block of my apartment, I would smile and nod just in case.

I imagined how I would answer a detective’s incredulous questions on Law and Order.  “How could you not know Marta’s last name?” “You have no address for the woman who has a key to your home, and access to your jewelry?” ‘Tell me again how you could not possibly know the full name of the woman who cleans your underwear?” “How did you know it was Marta every week?” “Based only on the fact that she ruined your whites with the same hue of blue, you are telling me that it was always the same woman?” Unfortunately, the answers are yes, “I could” and “I did”.

I did have Olga’s outer-borough phone number.  I used it to say that I was moving and I wouldn’t be needing Marta’s services.  I left two weeks’ pay and Marta left a thank-you note written in a scrawl that suggested that she didn’t know so much English and was just as happy that she didn’t bump into me (even if she recognized me).

At least I know her first name.  That is something.  But not really a lot.  A nameless immigrant in the sea of New York, doing work that most people won’t do.  If you want to see strivers and the role that nameless immigrants — legal or not — play in our society, come to New York City.

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A Sign of the Times

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So one lazy morning when I could not, should not, would not go gently into the underbelly of New York which we fondly call the subway, I took a cab.  I know, I know, in a recession, the cost of a cab is like taking  candy from my child’s mouth or food off his plate.  Then again if I lose my mind, then I would not be able to put candy in his mouth or food on his plate.  In fact, it was a “wellness” initiative that should be covered by insurance deductibles.  Every urban dweller should get a few moments of peace (and Urdu or other language) once in a while.  But, as usual, I digress.

So back to life inside an air-conditioned, yet still stale-aired, cab (an oxy-moron only city dwellers can appreciate).  I was just reaching to turn off the video screen (provided courtesy of the Taxi and Limousine Commission in recognition of the global shift toward ADD as an evolutionary goal) when I spied the following sign in a liquor store:

Yes, a LIQUOR STORE, advertising 50% if you come in between 8AM and 10AM.

Are alarm bells going off?  I know we are all seeking solace somewhere in this economic meltdown (Thank you, GOP — NO, I will not accept sharing the responsibility, you greedy bastards), but this, THIS, says we are hurting.  And hurting DEEPLY.

Food for thought or, more appropriately, elixir for numbness of the mind.

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Let’s Party Like It’s 1929

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If I read the news, I will go into that bad place in my head that holds all my fears of being destitute and homeless.

The stock market is tanking, confidence is tanking, the economy is sputtering, unemployment is high and nerves are frazzled.  At first, everyone was talking about a double-dip recession, then about, PHEW, how we escaped the double-dip and now, how it looks like a triple-Lutz-followed-by-triple-pike-nosedive recession.

No prognosticator today can know for sure what the Monday morning quarterback will say with a certain smug clarity (after all, he who survives gets to write the history). 

But that doesn’t stop the pundits from scaring me to distraction.

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How cool is technology?

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Here is the crazy thing: I am typing this entry from my iTouch. This may not seem a big deal to those who are tech-savvy, but for me, this is awesome. Useless technology for sure and not as easy as using a laptop.
Definitely worth knowing for the times I simply must blog from the scene of the bloggable event.

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The Monday Morning Blues

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My sister resembles my father in the way she gets out of bed in a happy mood.  My brother resembles my mother’s father in the way he gets out of bed (or did when we were kids) in a less-than-kind or communicative mood.  I am in the middle:  I am low energy, slow motion and hit the alarm six or ten times before staggering out of bed.  That is why lawyers’ hours in NY — in the office by the crack of 10:15am — work for me.

POB (partner of blogger), who wakes up at 5:30am, takes our son to school.  But today, she had to wake up even earlier to catch a train for an out-of-town meeting.  

I had to take my son to school.  That meant that I had to start slamming the alarm at 6:00am.  (For most of the year, the sun has not risen at 6:00am so in my book it is still the middle of the night.) 

Clearly, POB is a blessing in my life because our son would be a truant if I were responsible for getting him to school.  AND she made coffee for me.

In bizarre proof that gene replacement therapy works by osmosis and hypnotic suggestion when kids are asleep, our son is just like me in the mornings.  Which makes POB even more of a ROCK STAR.

We soldiered on through getting dressed, eating breakfast, washing up and brushing teeth.  (I am talking about both of us, here.)  Neither of us could talk but we grunted as humanely and endearingly as we could.

I dropped our son off at school and arrived at my office at the crack of 8:15am.   I need a nap now.

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Behind the scenes at my son’s 8th birthday party

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First, let me say that my son had a great time.  Second, let me say that POB (partner of blogger) and I did the least we could do.  Everyday we star in our own MasterCard commercial.  In this case, paying for an all-in party at Chelsea Piers bowling alley, $___; seeing your kid smile, PRICELESS.

We were greeted by the shift manager, a friendly enough woman. She failed to enunciate when she said her name and between the thumping music (which I forced them to turn down) and my middle aged ears, I couldn’t catch her name.  Not to worry, my middle aged brain would have forgotten it in seconds anyway.  She asked who was the mother and we both said, “we are”.  Shock and consternation showed on her face.  She then asked, “are there two birthday boys?” Ok, maybe she was thinking she needed to charge extra or maybe she was worried that there was some foul-up.  But this is NEW YORK CITY on GAY PR IDE WEEKEND.  (As for our family, we’re here, we’re queer, we are sooooo over it.)

Ok, so it took a few screams in all of our ear canals to get the point across (remember there was the thumping, party tape playing — another gift by the gay community) in order for the manager to understand that there were two Moms and that all was the same as planned.  Phew.  One small step for us, one giant step for GAY families.

My dad arrived early but not as early as usual so I was tempted to start a police manhunt to track him down.  (He is almost 90 and I worry.)  I waited outside and caught him as he was passing the place.  He noted the loud music and then I wondered to myself, how can he hear the loud music but not hear me screaming “DAD!!!!” on the pier.  A cosmic puzzlement.  One of the moms of our son’s friends asked Dad, “whose father are you?” (as in is your daughter POB or Blogger?).  My dad misunderstood the question, and answered, “No father.  Two moms.”  He came over to me later and suggested that someone didn’t realize the family dynamics and whether he should have a word with her.  G-d bless my Dad.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the mom-in-question already told me about the mis-communication. So, I said, “Another time, Dad, and thanks.”

It is my son’s day, but I need to have a moment about my Dad.  Sometimes, being the sandwich generation has it joyful moments.

I have spent the day putting together Star Wars lego battle cruisers, whatever.  Every parent can relate.  That’s why we don’t march in the parade.  Who has time when there are Lego projects and Little League and Hebrew School and birthday parties?

I get emails from my college friends asking about the birthday party.  I did NOT tell them (not that I wouldn’t but we had facial moisturizer to discuss).  But one is “friends” with my sister who posted pictures of the event.  You can run but you can’t hide.

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