Mundo Bizarro

Posted on July 9, 2009 by 40andover

I went to a women’s shoe store opening. My friend is a banker and his fiancee wanted to open a shoe store. This is his banking exit strategy (this is the guy who asked me what my law practice exit strategy was and I said “death?”). Maybe I’ll get a few deals from him before he exits so I don’t have to die at my desk. Anyway, the shoes are way too cutesy for me. His fiancee looks like Catherine Zeta Jones and wear high heeled mules to run errands on Saturdays. It was a bizarre moment when my friend who is a guy’s guy turned to me and said, “I think we only have two styles that work for you. Let me show them to you. You’re an 8?” I was afraid mightily and had to leave.

Subway musings

Posted on July 9, 2009 by 40andover

So, in these days of recession and job loss, the morning subway rides are more subdued with less peculiar and bizarre behaviors on display. I think it is a symptom of the ever deepening crisis. Everyone — everyone — is keeping his or her head down and staying out of trouble. I don’t mean to suggest that all is rosy and normal underground. The man next to me this morning was coughing up a lung so bacterial and viral life are still thriving.

Chocolates, PUH-leeze

Posted on July 5, 2009 by 40andover

So my partner and I celebrated ten years together by packing up for two nights/one day at a hotel in the city (no names, but it is in Tribeca and has the word Grand in the name). I bet it was meant to be a groovy, gritty and cool hotel. It was a little like being on the set of CSI: Whatever, where they all work in the dark. Obviously no one old enough to need bifocals has anything to do with these shows (other than Horatio who doesn’t have to move his body — just his arms to lift his sunglasses on and off his face). Is that why the guy on the original CSI had to leave? Maybe if someone turned up the lights. . .. But I digress. So, this place is so dimly lit that a normal person could walk into a wall or a draped wall, in this way too groovy place. The rooms had the same lighting issues. Oh, I get it. Eco-friendliness. Nah, not eco-friendliness on purpose. Dark, gritty cool — that was the intent. The rooms were tiny and had this post-apocalyptic decor. There was a sad goldfish in a stark bowl in the room because apparently rental pets soothe a person who is staying in a Mad-Max-Beyond-Thunderdome room.

The staff was young and beautiful. Clearly the only two criteria. Experience and manners, well, those are so old-school. Also old school are adequate lighting, cheery decor (which can be chic as well — think Design Within Reach) and chocolates with turn-down service. The economy is bad, I know, and I could give these people a few hints on customer service that might increase the rate of repeat customers. Hint no. 1: don’t scrimp on the chocolates.

Vacations, staycations and parkations

Posted on June 28, 2009 by 40andover

I don’t know when the phrase “staycation” moved into the lexicon, but my partner and I started about three years to go on a semi-annual weekend away in New York City (where we live) while trusted people stayed with our beloved little (ok not so little anymore) baby.

It was a vacation without travel hassles and delays, without time lost getting somewhere and we live in a one of the greatest cities. Also, we could be a cab ride away from our son or our fathers (who are widowers) should anything happen. What I really mean is that we would always be a cab ride away from any emergency room in Manhattan because I always imagine the worst. The old joke about a jewish mother’s calling a relative and saying, “worry! I will tell you later why,” captures my personality exactly. I can go from a stubbed toe to nuclear holocaust in 5 seconds. (If ,let’s say, Kim Dong Il stubs his toe and gets really mad, then he wants to lash out . . . . you see how this gets out of hand.) But, I digress.

So we love staycations. We also have vacations with our son. Let me be more precise. Prior to the Great Recession, we had staycations and vacations. Today we had a parkation. G-d bless the conservancies and public-private partnerships that keep our city parks and waterfronts habitable. I would humbly ask for more sanitary rest rooms, and I am grateful that I have a son so I don’t often have to yell, “squat!! NOOOOOO sitting!!”

sidewalk dining

Posted on June 26, 2009 by 40andover

After I derided al fresco sidewalk dining, I decided that I needed to try it because I am turning over a new leaf and not being AS judgmental (though, never fear, still judgmental, as no one would recognize me otherwise). My analysis in a word: dreadful. People standing around, some smoking and others simply standing around. Then comes the traffic. What is fascinating is that a truck doesn’t need the metal plate covering a street hole to make that insanely annoying “clank” sound. As in every one of life’s experiences, I have learned something new (whether or not useful is not the issues) about the nuances of street noise. But I lost my appetite. Grilled sardines and octopus, anyone?

Urban life doesn’t need to be anonymous

Posted on June 24, 2009 by 40andover

40 years ago, NY was a small town in many ways. If my mom and I were out doing errands or whatever, and Mrs. Moorestein or Mrs. Freeman or Mrs. Graham were on the street, there was no way that we passed them by without stopping and visiting and I had to show my best five year-old manners. And they scared me because they were ADULTS with booming voices. As of two years ago, Mrs. Moorestein still lived nearby my father and we hugged and kissed when we saw each other. We had been neighbors for decades.

iPods, Grout and Personal Space

Posted on June 24, 2009 by 40andover

iPods are great but you don’t hear NEW music. You form a shell around what you know and once those ear plug are in, no chance encounters with new music or new people can happen.

But I get that people need to set up a controlled environment to maintain sanity. My control cocoon is when I clean my bathroom and kitchen grout. Because I cannot control the markets, the trajectory (down) of my career or the health of people I love, but I can make some square feet of grout look great.

wondering on a Tuesday in NY

Posted on June 23, 2009 by 40andover

I don’t get the pedestrian mall at Times Square or the tables and chairs on the dividers in the street. Carbon monoxide with your health salad? For that matter, what’s with side walk cafes in NY? This is not some piazza in some beautiful city in Italy where the pollution is so romantic and delicious because it is Italian. Actually most of the pollution and carcinogens come from products partially made in China, so imagine that charming street scene in Beijing. Enjoy your lunch!

Speaking of the gym

Posted on June 22, 2009 by 40andover

My last post made me think of the guy whose shorts were dripping with sweat all over the floor and still he wears nylon that reeks rather than absorbing cotton. Let that image sit for a second. Imagine being on the bike next to him. Either a rain poncho or a haz mat suit. Just a thought.

Older vs younger