So my partner and I celebrated ten years together by packing up for two nights/one day at a hotel in the city (no names, but it is in Tribeca and has the word Grand in the name).  I bet it was meant to be a groovy, gritty and cool hotel.  It was a little like being on the set of CSI: Whatever, where they all work in the dark.  Obviously no one old enough to need bifocals has anything to do with these shows (other than Horatio who doesn’t have to move his body — just his arms to lift his sunglasses on and off his face).  Is that why the guy on the original CSI had to leave?  Maybe if someone turned up the lights. . ..  But I digress.  So, this place is so dimly lit that a normal person could walk into a wall or a draped wall, in this way too groovy place.  The rooms had the same lighting issues.  Oh, I get it.  Eco-friendliness.  Nah, not eco-friendliness on purpose. Dark, gritty cool — that was the intent.  The rooms were tiny and had this post-apocalyptic decor.  There was a sad goldfish in a stark bowl in the room because apparently rental pets soothe a person who is staying in a Mad-Max-Beyond-Thunderdome room.

The staff was young and beautiful.  Clearly the only two criteria.  Experience and manners, well, those are so old-school. Also old school are adequate lighting, cheery decor (which can be chic as well — think Design Within Reach) and chocolates with turn-down service.  The economy is bad, I know, and I could give these people a few hints on customer service that might increase the rate of repeat customers.  Hint no. 1: don’t scrimp on the chocolates.