Obama’s comment

Posted on July 24, 2009 by 40andover

I, for one, cannot imagine what it is to be racially-profiled or black in America. So when No Drama Obama says something out of character, it may come from a place that I have never been and can never understand. And I am grateful never to have been “there”. So, I don’t judge the comment.

At his news conference, President Obama spoke almost entirely about health care until the last question. The 24-hour news recycle only focused on his answer to that last question, the one about Professor Gates.

Here is a man who is handling crises at home and on every continent every day and who is juggling numerous policy initiatives toward a stronger country (many may disagree with his approaches, but not his commitment to this country).

Whether or not he needed to apologize, he did apologize. SO, LET IT GO and get back to hitting him hard on the issues that matter — economy, Iraq, Iran, N. Korea, healthcare and where Michelle and he are going for their next date night.

Thought for Today, July 23, 2009: Unpatriotic Fox News

Posted on July 23, 2009 by 40andover

For eight long years, I was one of those “unpatriotic” Americans because I loved this country and disagreed with the Bush administration and its policies. But I still watched the president’s press conferences and respected the presidency while I had trouble with the man in that office (don’t get me started on Cheney).

Fox News thinks it is ok not to show a presidential press conference because it is opposed to President Obama’s politics. In the prior administration, the talking heads would be challenging the patriotism of any news outlet that didn’t carry a press conference. Are those at Fox News selectively patriotic, as in only when a conservative is president?

I loved this country and respected the government even when I personally hated the policies. What is Fox News’s excuse?

President Obama and health care

Posted on July 23, 2009 by 40andover

I watched the President’s press conference last night. The commentators seemed disappointed that the President is a mere mortal. Asking for guarantees as one reporter did requires a crystal ball and the reporter posed an unanswerable question. There are no guarantees. There are only projections and good faith efforts to fix a problem that has lingered too long.

Let’s support a global, cogent plan to make an efficient system with improved services and work toward making that plan a reality. We have to change the system. There will be sacrifices. But there are already sacrifices now. Inefficient, costly and below average care for too many people. We can’t let the system stay as is. Those who only say “no” need to get out of the way. Either come up with a plan or shut up.

Thoughts for July 21, 2009 (even though it is only July 20, 2009)

Posted on July 20, 2009 by 40andover

There are reports that arrested protesters of the Iranian election result are being raped in prison. A RELIGIOUS republic is resorting to these tactics . . . in the name of Allah??? How does that work? It is an abomination for religious leaders to use such tactics in the name of G-d but really to further their very human need to maintain power.

May Allah protect those with the courage of their convictions who are made to suffer at the hands of these tormentors. May everyone’s G-d protect them.

Thoughts for today, July 17, 2009

Posted on July 17, 2009 by 40andover

Lindsay Graham said at the start of the Sotomayor hearing that unless she had a meltdown, she was getting confirmed. And, further, he didn’t think she was going to have a meltdown. So why did we have to waste all that time? Just to allow us to showcase to the world the endemic and virulent prejudice that pulses below the surface of our society, and worse, at the highest levels of government?

Gee, Senator Graham, thanks for the reminder.

Kitty Genovese 40+ years later

Posted on July 15, 2009 by 40andover

My sister is guest blogging with me. She is helping edit this entry. So, it will be nicer and better written than usual.

On Sunday, my partner, son and I were on our way back from the Bronx Zoo on the No. 2 train. Somewhere in the Bronx, a woman had a petite mal seizure (form of epilepsy it seemed) on the train, but no one knew that until she came around. Everyone was joking about her being a drunk or a drug addict. Someone helped her back on the seat. Then, everyone continued talking about her as if she wasn’t there. I got up and walked down the subway car to see if someone was hurt and and asked her if she was ok. She said she has seizures and felt ok. She seemed dazed and I kept my eye on her and asked her a few more times about how she was feeling. We got off the train at the same stop in Manhattan and I made sure she knew where she was and that she had her wallet with money to get where she needed to go (back up to the Bronx). I was startled and sad that no one else came to her aid and people thought it was funny. I didn’t even help that much, but I hope I made her feel a little safer.

Over 40 years ago, Kitty Genovese was stabbed countless times while her neighbors looked on. Psychologists say that this communal inaction is known as diffusion of responsibility. No one will act unless someone else does, and therefore no one acts.

So, only one person needs to act and everything can change. Yes, we can.

Why I blog

Posted on July 14, 2009 by 40andover

I blog because it is cathartic and empowering. It is also more considerate of my friends and family to give them a break from listening to me. My partner is especially grateful. She can read my thoughts when she has time or not. Up to her.

I would appreciate comments from those of you who read my entries. I would welcome different viewpoints and I would like to engage in a dialogue. I see the world through a lens shaped by my life’s trajectory and family story, so my view is necessarily constrained.

Being the other mother

Posted on July 11, 2009 by 40andover

I am not my son’s biological mother. My partner is. There are distinct advantages to being genetically irrelevant: no worries that the less-than-stellar genes I carry (recessive, of course) will transfer to my son. I can say that he is adorable and that he is smart, because I have nothing to do with those. The down side is that I don’t see my mother in him and she was such a positive life force.

I live the nature/nurture debate. I think humans are born hard-wired and nurture doesn’t change that. Nurture can create a safe, loving, encouraging environment so that a child’s better impulses, desires and dreams can flourish. That’s my job. It is hard sometimes because there is something about the biological connection that is primitive and similarly hard-wired.

I worry about my place in my son’s life. I have a piece of paper — court ordered adoption. I am legally and financially as responsible for him as is any biological parent. But that is no bright line upon which to stake my parental claim. Certainly if family were decided based on “blood” relations, I would lose. Court order sounds strong but it is paper and in “rock, paper, scissors,” I would lose to the scissors. So, it can’t be that strong.

I know I love him and he loves me. That’s the tie that binds. The rest shouldn’t matter. But until love is the litmus test for family, I am glad I have the piece of paper.

Another rant because everyone else gets to rant on the Internet

Posted on July 8, 2009 by 40andover

Finding out someone I consider(ed) a friend is cheating on his spouse sent me into the rant that follows. (And I don’t mean a-blame-it-on-alcohol one night stand. I can understand one-time show of colossal stupidity or total lapse of judgment because we are human.)

Maybe I am so upset because, on local and national levels, I wonder where are our humanity and our personal and societal accountability?

Our economy has been destroyed by the greedy and power-hungry — really, if you all only cheated only a little, you would be fabulously rich and 30% of Americans wouldn’t be out of work, homeless, worrying about their jobs, without healthcare or any combo of these.

Our society has been co-opted by power hungry people who control by creating “Us”es and “Them”s — really, you could be kingmakers and then be high-paying pundits without starting a culture war and leaving our national principles among the casualties.

Our religions have been hijacked by radicalism — really, as Elvis Costello asked, what’s so funny about peace, love and understanding? What is wrong with our president’s middle name and his family heritage? And what if a man loved a man?

Our politics are populated by self-serving hypocrites — if you live in a glass house, be generous about the frailty of others lest you be fodder for the 24 hour news recycle. You might even get to do something for the Common Weal instead of the Singular Ego.

Maybe humanity starts with humility. Ok, so I guess that means I should not judge my (former) friend. Instead I should hope he finds his way back to his family. So, I have proved my point by being the very type of self satisfied pompous ass against whom I started this rant. Damn. I hate that.

I’ll plan on being humble tomorrow. Today, I will enjoy being the pompous ass. Because I am mad enough, I am tired enough and, gosh darn it, I am (sort of) good enough to rant today. Apologies to the Senator, formerly known as comedian, Al Franken.

Who needs a 24-hour news cycle?

Posted on July 6, 2009 by 40andover

Here’s the news: Palin quits governorship; Franken is senator (finally); Obama heads to Russia to warm up the Chilly War that evolved under Bush (who looked into Putin’s eyes and saw his soul); there is ethnic unrest in China; more clerics back Ahmadinejad’s opposition in Iran; President Zelaya of Honduras was prevented from returning to his country; Michael Jackson is still dead and public does NOT need to know all of the details of his poor kids; Al Sharpton is getting a piece of Jackson action as commentator because, well, he is Al Sharpton; the economy still sucks; Pakistan is a nuclear power fighting Taliban insurgency; the popularly elected leader of Myanmar who has been under house arrest for 15 years is still on trial; Afghanistan is a war zone; Federer is into gold lame embroidery (ode to Michael Jackson?). What have I left out?

40 — oh wait, yikes!! 50 — andoverblog

Aging and living in urban US

Category Archives: VOICES