The majority of voters against the Iraq War live in Blue States.

Virtually all terrorist targets are in Blue States.

Most uninsured people live in Red States.

Most people who will be taxed under any Obama plan live in Blue States.

Most tea party goers won’t give up social security, medicare and — if they needed it — food stamps and welfare.  Apparently, these government entitlements aren’t “government entitlements“ government entitlements.  [Imagine the annoying hand motions depicting quotations marks.] OK, you’re not “stupid” stupid. 

Most tea party goers want to repeal the “death tax” even though statisticallyno one in their group other than the heirs of Glenn Beck and other Fox celebrities who will benefit from that tax repeal.  The idea of Glenn Beck progeny has turned this Blue Stater an awful shade of green.

If any RED STATE wishes to secede from the Union, we will throw in free Fox cable channels free for a year as a parting gift.  No, don’t thank us.  Thank YOU.