I decided that I am wearing the same clothes each time I go to the Rings (see http://40andoverblog.com/?p=5182) so that no one can look at pictures and remember a time when I totally sucked at this. The good news is that I go to the rings once a week (and laundry is done in between) so I won’t smell.
So, without Wendy, my trainer, I dutifully headed out to the Rings to practice. There is a group that generally forms around the Rings at 10am on a Saturday. Fencers (who practice a little away from the Rings), acrobats and others who want a hard work-out.
A handsome, handsome, guy with dredlocks was hanging out, breathing heavily from a go at the adult Rings. (Since I am short with a limited wing span, I need to swing on the kiddie Rings.)
SIDEBAR: While my orientation may be toward women, beauty is beauty, Rasta Man is so striking, that he turned my head. Back to the blog.
I was having a bad time getting my rhythm on the Rings. I almost gave up 5 times. But I watched Rasta Man. He inspired me. And he came over when I looked defeated. He gave me pointers on getting momentum to move “effortlessly” from Ring to Ring. So, I tried to do what he said.
Then a couple came along. A perfectly normal woman, with a total dweeby boyfriend — maybe, to give her credit, a blind date. They were at the other side of the rings. The DWEEB, with black sneakers, black socks up above his calves and black polo shirt and shorts, beckoned me to go first, in an impatient sort of way.
I shout: “Don’t worry, I won’t make it to the second Ring!! So, I will be clear of the Rings when you make it over here!!”
The DWEEB grabbed two Rings and tried to lift himself up.
Count with me: One mississippi, two mississ —-
ON THE GROUND.
“This is hard!”
I couldn’t hold back: “No SHIT, Sherlock.”
Notwithstanding my harsh comment directed squarely at the Dweeb in the sand, his date/girlfriend came over to me and gave me more pointers.
Then, she swung from Ring to Ring with the ease and grace of Tarzana. MY HERO.
Except for the DWEEB.
DUMP THE CHUMP.
Ah, if not Lord of the Rings, at least the Fellowship of the Rings.