I had a chance encounter with a young woman on a train to Harrisburg, PA, in 2007 and it continues to be a transformative experience for me.

She was 22 or 23-ish then. She was wearing size 22 clothes that were still too tight. She has all the low-class trappings (bling, crazy nails, tattoos, talking unintelligible slang on a pink cellphone).  I immediately thought about moving my seat because she was so loud on the phone.  Then, she turned to me with the sweetest and most earnest look on her face (that made me feel bad for my snarky thoughts) and asked, “do you know anything about Harrisburg? Me and my mom are moving there now.” As in right now, as in on this train, they are relocating because someone told them there were jobs in Harrisburg. Her mom is wiry thin and worn beyond her years — looks like a hard life and hard drugs had their effect.  The mother who is my age or younger was scared and shy and sad. Her daughter shared her DVD player and headphones so they could watch I Love Lucy together. I Love Lucy is the diversion of choice for these two women in the year 2007. You can’t make this up.

The economic, social, political and nuclear world has changed in that time. If the world hadn’t changed, I probably wouldn’t think of this young woman, but  the world did change and this chance encounter stays with me.

This young woman was braver than I will ever be. More optimistic than I can ever fathom. She is the under-educated try-anything counterpoint to my over-educated disillusionment. I am a lot ashamed that I felt decidedly superior to her when I walked on the train and then incredulous that she would go somewhere on the mere possibility of the chance to get a job and a better job.  She had it right.  I hope she is successful without conforming.  I hope she is happy.  I hope her mother is not so sad or scared anymore.  

I need to learn a few things from this woman, starting with humility.