Wherever you are, you need to be somewhere else.  And whatever you are doing wherever you are, it is a little inadequate, a little late and a little unfocused.

This is the life of the sandwich generation.

I called Dad this morning and went over the plan for the day and who was visiting and what he needed to accomplish. 

“Are you coming?”  

“No, Dad, not today.  I am spending the day with SOS and we are going to the Met.” 

“You are choosing a museum over me?  Tell my grandson I am so sad that I might cry!” Dad said jokingly. 

Jokingly (but not fully joking) and quite manipulatively.  We have played this game before.  Dad doesn’t want me to feel bad after I hold firm to my decision.  He doesn’t mean to make me crazy or sad.  

But now it is different.  Dad is still full of life and he is being hemmed in by things beyond his control.  He is a prisoner of a few block radius around his apartment and the vagueness and forgetfulness of his mind in areas where he had his brain injury.   So, I want to cry and throw up.  Before this, the man could play a concerto on my emotional buttons.  Now, he is maestro.

But SOS is my priority.  We went to Arms and Armor because boys love their implements of destruction.  And, certain things about men don’t change from the middle ages to the present, as noted by the expanded “pocket” on this particular armor.  Front angle and side angle.

Too funny.

SOB and a family friend had lunch with Dad.  SOB did strong work this weekend, covering the “Dad call” so that I could chill a little and catch up on family and work.   I have the “Dad call” part of this week and next weekend. (We use medical terms because, as Jews, we act as if we are all doctors, actual licenses being irrelevant.)

And I will go over tomorrow for cocktail hour.  And no doubt he will want to dance a few turns with me before his make-believe scotch.  That man still dances better than I ever will.  And he remembers the songs and tunes of the Big Band Era better than most people.  He is quite a remarkable man.

So we will see whether he can go for a longer and further outing this week.  Maybe even to the Upper West Side for brunch next weekend. 

Speaking of sandwiches, today I had a pastrami and corned beef on rye.  Because if you are stuck in the middle, taking care of the older and the younger generations, a little soul food goes a long way.