Last night I was at the gym, in my usual (and clean), well-worn yet dorky gym attire, when I came upon the Sniffer at the water fountain.
As you may recall, the Sniffer (http://40andoverblog.com/?p=3247) feigned an allergy to perfumes so that he could come over to where SOB and I were companionably and half-heartedly “working out” (read, “chatting”) on side-by-side elliptical machines. He sniffed and sniffed around us and then said, “I knew by looking at you that you weren’t the type to wear perfume. . . . ” And then he took the elliptical machine next to mine. I think that line would turn off straight girls much less an almost-married lesbian.
The Sniffer has since tried to make conversation with me about various, incredibly odd, things. I now think that he is socially inept and just wants to chat the way others do at the gym. I started to feel bad for him, until . . . .
Back to the water fountain. Sniffer half-turns to me and says in that loud voice that suggests he doesn’t know how to modulate volume:
“I almost didn’t recognize you without your “Friendships are Recession-Proof” t-shirt. Do you have just one or is the recession over?”
This is what the shirt looks like.
For the story behind the t-shirt, click http://40andoverblog.com/?p=127
Of course, I have to tell him in an equally loud voice that I had them made for my friends and they were popular enough that I had to do a second “printing” and ended up with six or so EXTRA of them.
“And they are always clean!” I bellow in a last exhausted gasp.
“So the recession isn’t over in your eyes? Technically, it ended in . . . .”
Ok, I had to walk away. His disquisition on economic markers (which I had overheard before) is mundane yet pedantic, jargon-y yet shallow, almost exquisitely so.
I met POB for dinner after the gym. “How was your day?” she asked. “I need new gym clothes,” was my response.