I have been close to many in my life who did not have children.  They were/are blood relatives or relatives-by-love.

Now, another set needs SOB’s (sister of blogger’s) and my help.  These two people were the heroes of our youth, the fun and youthful aunt and uncle.  They had lives in theater, dance, and the arts.  They knew interesting people and were “mod” when “mod” was cool.  They lived life on their terms and expanded our imaginations behind where our parents tried to direct our paths.

They are old now and much diminished.  A generation slipping through our fingers, as we try to make the twilight comfortable and the darkness not so scary.  They once were kings and queens of their destiny and audaciously bohemian in their lifestyles.

And now their nieces, a doctor and a lawyer exactly as their parents had planned, must introduce — gently, very gently — the calculable reality.

Because even free spirits need grounded guides through the indignities of aging.  But we have to learn their terms and conditions for aging.  There is no room for hubris in thinking we know what they want.  We have to ask and we have to listen.

When Mom died, we knew what she wanted — we had talked about it for years, as the cancer began to win — and it was easier to do what needed to be done.  It was excruciating but the details and the path forward were clear.  How ironic.

And yet I am concerned and sad, but not “down” because we are trying to do what must be done in the gentlest, most honest way possible.

Wish us luck.