This weekend, I read about a mother unplugging her kids from their various anti-social devices — smart phones, laptops and TVs — so they couldn’t engage in anti-social-yet-social activities like texting and Facebooking (is that a word?).

I had a smug moment about how we carefully monitor our son’s time on these devices — ok, he is only 8.5 years old so he doesn’t have an email address or a Facebook account.  And, thank G-d, his fine motor skills are not the best, because that will delay texting (and therefore sexting, G-d help me).  Bottom line: I have nothing to be smug about because I don’t have these issues YET.  But let me enjoy the moment however ill-deserved.

The very next day the “ALT’ and “a” keys on my blackberry stopped working.  I was frantic.  Karma is SUCH a brutal boomerang.  The blackberry provider which shall remain nameless (Verizon) wouldn’t honor the warranty without some trouble-shooting, even though I explained that it was a mechanical and not a software problem. 

Trouble-shooting?  Was a technician going to reach through the phone or computer and unstick my keys or relieve their key fatigue? 

So, I am on the phone with a technician and she says, “type the word, ‘blackberry’.”   Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok.   I CALMLY say “I can’t.”   She asks, “why?”   WHY?????  WHY????  WHY????  I CALMLY tell her, “it will come out ‘blckberry’ because the ‘a’ doesn’t work”.  Ahhh, now she understands.   She is no longer puzzled and frustrated.  How NICE for her.  She determines I need a new device.  Brilliant. 

Now, you think I am over-reacting.  I am.  I am hooked on my blackberry (karma being a brutal boomerang after my smug thoughts).  But there were 36 hours between the initial SOS to service provider which shall remain nameless (Verizon) and the actual trouble-shooting call.  And then 24 hours after that.  So, for 60 hours, I was typing emails that looked like “ttched is drft of the lon greement” (not really, because, G-d bless spell check).  All I can say is that it is hard to think of words that don’t have “a”s in them.  Try it.  And when you are typing messages that look nonsensical without the “a”s, you feel like you are either drunk or using someone else’s glasses.

But I did have fun torturing my assistant with “a”-less emails, like “plese mke reservtion for three t [name] resturnt” or constantly resending of “I cn’t use the LT or _ button”.   As if she didn’t know.  But you can’t spell TEAM without an A and so she needed to live this crisis with me.  And well I am better for it.  She, she, had to leave early with a migraine.

My new blackberry is synching now and I am humming right along with it.