Ok, according to ebiblefellowship.com, “we’re almost there!!” 

Almost where?  Almost to the Day of Rapture when G-d’s Elect will ascend to Heaven.  (I tried to use a Heavenly color.) 

May 21, 2011, to be exact.

Then, a great fire will consume the rest of the earth, in October.  I guess it is too much of a transportation headache to transport everyone (down?) to Hell, so G-d is just going to throw lighter fluid on an out-of-control oil well or something.

I know this is terrible, but I keep singing Blondie’s song “Rapture”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnhKPw2NXIw (with a little Jim Morrison mixed in for a full apocalyptic/conspiracy theory montage).

SO, I don’t get what happens on the day that the Rapture begins. 

G-d will rule the Earth and G-d’s followers will abide by those rules. 

Ok, according to the Christian theology, G-d already rules and these believers follow the rules. 

Will G-d reward them with “life”? 

They are already alive.    Eternal life?  As long as you stay young, because aging is not for the faint of heart.

Is it just that G-d will rid the universe of the rest of us? 

The Christian thing to do would be just to ignore us.

To be honest, I would like to have that strength of faith.  I would like to believe in a Great Benevolence that will save us.  Because I do believe that this world could be destroyed, except I think the end will come because of human action.   

I guess if Hell will be a place on Earth (in either scenario — theirs or mine), I should cancel that airport limousine I reserved for the End of Days. Because Hell is coming soon to a place near you — check newspapers for times and listings.