I am on a crowded subway.  I am seated at the end of a row and a huge woman tries to wedge herself between me and the person a few inches away from me.  On the aisle side, there is a couple — er — um — attempting to couple, and jabbing me with elbows and bags.  Reminds me of that song, “I’ve got clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right . . . “ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8StG4fFWHqg

The couplers take a break and the over-sized  woman gets up and I think all is going to be okay.  But I should have remembered the magnet in my forehead in the shape of an S.  S is for SCHMUCK.

In Seinfeld Show’s Kramer-like fashion, a woman nearly dives for the seat next to me.  I look up, startled.  She is a little freaked out.   She tells me in a breathless voice that she had to change seats because the woman next to her was invading her space tooo much.  (You didn’t see what I just went through, I think.)

Perhaps seeing the skepticism in my eyes (or was it that “I don’t give a sh@t” look?), the woman continues, “when I told [the offending woman] that she needed to sit up, she said, “I have a disability, I LEAN“.

“I have a disability, I LEAN“? REALLY?

Crazy, but great line.