Notwithstanding my report of a perfectly lovely Saturday evening out, I spent most of the weekend in bed and sleeping off a virus/bacteria of some sort.  Not only did I feel physically bad but I felt this angst about wasting time and being unproductive.  Watching TV only reinforced how useless I felt.  There were things to do, time to spend with people, errands to run and I had no energy and a sick stomach. So, I started reading the Senate bill on health care and then the House bill.  I am about 25% of the way through the house bill and since I read that the public option is on the negotiating block, I stopped reading until there is some clarity.

There are many simple reasons for my angst: I missed spending time with my partner and our son who went about the days as usual; I wasn’t outside on a sunny day (even though it was hot); I didn’t take care of many errands.  But there’s more.  As a professional who takes pride in her high level of productivity, I am faced with a recession-imposed low level of productivity at work.  So, if the weekends are similarly unproductive, despair creeps in.

The hard psychological lesson of this economy is learning not to be wound so tightly, not to see oneself only by measures of income and productivity.  Hard lesson.  With any luck, the recession will be over soon and I won’t have to learn this lesson.  Well, until the next recession in 7 years.