Another lesson learned

In order to understand this blog, you need to look at for the back story. Suffice it to say that I avoided replacing one of Dad’s aides for one year because I didn’t think that personality issues should decide whether a person has a job.  Especially in this economy.  But there were other issues.  And when push came to shove, I had to choose Dad’s comfort above all.

We committed to pay for her kids’ immigration processes.  We overlooked so much.  But with a heavy heart, I made a decision after one year of wishing the problem away.

Not too long after the agency promised me that the aide would be re-assigned, I received this text from the aide:

“Seasons greetings to you and your family.IT was my pleasure working with you dad for over ayear.I am sure you had a wonder ful xmas with your family. I do not have money, or know anyone of influence that can take a persons job and by doing so take bread out of their family’s mouth, what I do have is my truth, honesty,and integrity. I have endured seven(7) months bulling, harassment and spitefullness at the hands of [the aide whom Dad adores]. Anyway goodluck with the Wolf in sheep clothing Re [aide whom Dad adores]. WITH time you will see the truth.All the best to you and family.with love [fired aide]”

It is over a month since I received this email and it remains a dagger in my heart.

What I did was right but not fair or moral to everyone.  And I have to be good with that.

When breaking the law is just business as usual

I have at least 3-4 bad parenting moments every day.  But my aim is to teach SOS that life is governed by a set of rules:

  • if you do something, then you live with the consequences;
  • never, ever, implicate someone who is innocent;
  • if you want to dance, you have to pay the fiddler;
  • if you feel guilty at night, then you need to apologize to someone in the morning;
  • if you’ve done something bad, you have to own up to it and try to make it right; and
  • if you lie, it only postpones the inevitable reckoning and aggravates anyone who would have been sympathetic to you.

SOS asked me about LIBOR and what exactly was being manipulated.  I tried to explain it simply and, to be honest, I was marginally successful (that is to say, inept).

I have been thinking about the Federal Reserve’s expressing concern 3 or 4 years ago, the Bank of England’s having to answer to Parliament, and a venerated international banking institution’s being rocked to its core.  And, there are many banks under scrutiny.  Then I read an article about the cheating, self-dealing and insider-trading done by Wall-Streeters that are just part of business as usual.

This week, I paid a sick amount of money in life insurance, long term care and disability insurance.  Am I a schmuck?  Are all these institutions houses of cards waiting to collapse and shatter my dreams and hopes of providing for my family?

I am tired of people cheating with my future.  If you want to mess up your life, hell, it is your life.  But when what you do affects POB, SOS and me, just be careful never to meet me in person, because, if you are putting my family at risk, I am capable of anything.  Anything.


I am trying to change some things in my life.  Change is hard; change is scary.  In fact, people sometimes back away from change they need and want because the unknown is scary.  I know I do. 

If we all went boldly where we have not gone before, then there would be no such saying as, “hey, at least it is the devil you know,” as cold comfort for maintaining the status quo. 

Which begs the question, just because you know how bad it is now, is it possible to have a social contract with the devil (ok, that’s an oxymoron) that the evil will not get worse or different? 

And isn’t there one devil?

If we have come to accept that change is needed, then that means we have accepted that the status quo is no longer tolerable. 

We voted for change.

If change is hard in one’s personal life, then change is excruciating on a national level.  But we voted for change because the status quo is no longer tolerable.

We voted for change.

Believe in change because you have no contract with the devil you know.

We voted for change.