Leg Lengthening Surgery??

Ok, there was a report about about a disgusting procedure during which, among other things, the patient’s legs are broken in order for the legs to grow longer.   The young woman was perfectly healthy and nothing was wrong with her legs.  Is THIS medical advancement?

The medical community is justifiably concerned about what Michael Jackson’s celebrity doctor prescribed for him.  Why did Michael Jackson have Diprivan in his house? Because he asked for it? Wasn’t the physician supposed to exercise independent, medical judgment and SAY NO?  The slope gets slippery . . . . . why didn’t the doctors say no to this young woman who wanted her legs lengthened to achieve some random estimation of “beauty”?

Nothing is going to stop rogue doctors from doing crazy things.  But we need a health care system that (i) gives doctors financial rewards for being good doctors who say “no” when necessary and (ii) takes away any incentives to go down that slippery slope.

Soon, soon, soon

For a long time when our son asked when we would get some place or when his food would come at a restaurant or when he would start to like school, my partner would answer with “soon, sweetie”.  About 18 months ago, at age 5-and1/2, he said in a very adult voice:

“Mommy, ‘soon‘ is not an answer because it doesn’t mean anything.”

I think of this every time someone says soon lenders will start lending again.  Soon, the job cuts will abate. Soon, I will get to retire.

Soon, soon, soon

Another thought of the day, July 29, 2009

I guess it is cool that scientists are mapping the human genome for clues to diseases and male pattern baldness.  But somewhere in the human genome there is some combination of molecules (or whatever) that causes children never to want to go to sleep at bedtime and whine, “are we there yet?” within 5 minutes of starting a journey.  Because children are born knowing how to do these things, I want the scientists to find these traits on the map of the human genome.

An unknown young woman

I had a chance encounter with a young woman on a train to Harrisburg, PA, in 2007 and it continues to be a transformative experience for me.

She was 22 or 23-ish then. She was wearing size 22 clothes that were still too tight. She has all the low-class trappings (bling, crazy nails, tattoos, talking unintelligible slang on a pink cellphone).  I immediately thought about moving my seat because she was so loud on the phone.  Then, she turned to me with the sweetest and most earnest look on her face (that made me feel bad for my snarky thoughts) and asked, “do you know anything about Harrisburg? Me and my mom are moving there now.” As in right now, as in on this train, they are relocating because someone told them there were jobs in Harrisburg. Her mom is wiry thin and worn beyond her years — looks like a hard life and hard drugs had their effect.  The mother who is my age or younger was scared and shy and sad. Her daughter shared her DVD player and headphones so they could watch I Love Lucy together. I Love Lucy is the diversion of choice for these two women in the year 2007. You can’t make this up.

The economic, social, political and nuclear world has changed in that time. If the world hadn’t changed, I probably wouldn’t think of this young woman, but  the world did change and this chance encounter stays with me.

This young woman was braver than I will ever be. More optimistic than I can ever fathom. She is the under-educated try-anything counterpoint to my over-educated disillusionment. I am a lot ashamed that I felt decidedly superior to her when I walked on the train and then incredulous that she would go somewhere on the mere possibility of the chance to get a job and a better job.  She had it right.  I hope she is successful without conforming.  I hope she is happy.  I hope her mother is not so sad or scared anymore.  

I need to learn a few things from this woman, starting with humility.

The accidental audience on someone else’s first date

I should keep my ears closed.  I should have brought a book. But they were so loud.  I sat; I listened; I blogged.

Last night was weekday date night for my partner and me. I was early because I closed a deal and, flush with the knowledge of getting paid for a deal, I left the office early and waited at a quasi-trendy place for my beloved to join me.

So, I sat at the bar and this is what happened in real time (think of me as a stenographer):

 Two people next to me are having a first date. The guy is trying to establish his bona fides as a New Yorker — born in Manhattan, first few years in Brooklyn (when it was uncool to live there) and then to NJ.  As a Manhattan native, I believe that he still needs a visa to come to the island, let’s be honest.

They are now talking about their siblings’ good marriages and failed marriages.  She responds to something he said (which eagle ears here can’t quite understand above the din) with, “ohmigod, I can’t believe, like, you know, that happened to my family”.  Then Sweet Valley High came up in the conversation, as a benchmark for human behavior. Ok, so art is life’s instruction. I am scared.

Apparently, it is cool to be not into any scene — a guy who is a homebody who owns his apartment gets the girl.  Also, the West Side shows you’re deeper and more family-oriented than the East Side, if you believe this guy. Also Murray Hill neighb apparently has settle-down creds, so you can get the girl that night at least.

The guy let slip that he spent more than he wanted (i.e., he had even more money in the bank) on his two bedroom apartment. She is impressed because she can’t afford her an apartment since she doesn’t believe in one bedrooms.  How nice for her. A new religion in the making.

He told her she reminded him of someone famous. I couldn’t hear who because of the untimely request by a fellow patron for a bill.  Darn. She was not upset because they are still talking and she is trying to make him laugh.

He skis. She doesn’t ski well. Skiing is an “issue for me” she says. He is an athlete but skiing is not his bag. He finishes every sentences on a high note, as if asking a question. 

He is driving me to drink. She is driving me to the psychopharmacologist.

I shouldn’t even go to the gym

I’m in the locker room trying to be careful to minimize my “space” because we all know those “space invaders” — naked on the bench (no towel underneath) or, another favorite, naked or half-naked texting.  Uh, excuse me while I try to get around your still sweating body toward my locker and change.  Skin cancer is a very serious disease and we all should be vigilant about noticing moles, etc.  BUT USING THE MIRROR AT THE GYM?  I race out of the locker room.

Now I am in the gym “proper”.

Ok. ok. ok. ok.  There is a guy who is in his late 60s, has a perma-tan and wears nylon running short-shorts (the one that really captures the perspiration smell) with one of those new-fangled half t-shirts that show off  the midrift (is that a word?).  For his age, he is in great shape.   His clothes are a sartorial tragedy. 

Not that I am much better.  I look like an anemic 40-something lawyer who hasn’t bought new gym clothes in years.  Let’s be clear that I never went for the thong look — I believe in the more covered-up the better.

Sixes and Sevens

I am feeling at sixes and sevens as my partner’s grandmother used to say.  It is the summer but it doesn’t feel good to take time off since productivity has been low. 

It isn’t like the old days when you were rushing around before vacation and leaving phone numbers where you can be reached while away and all the time thinking, “I deserve this time off, why can’t people leave me alone?”  Once I closed a deal near a beach (I stepped away so other vacationers couldn’t hear my drill sargeant shouts) and, according to a colleague with whom I spoke after my vacation, my rapid fire instructions (ok, yelling) were punctuated by the sounds of sea gulls, much to the pleasure of some on the phone. 

Now we are afraid that our blackberries WON’T buzz or beep or vibrate or whatever.  So, I just put mine on quiet so I control the silence, and not the economy.  (Little petty victories are important.)

Did anyone understand what she said?

On Sunday, Sarah Palin gave another speech, this time, REALLY stepping down.  As a parting gesture of kindness, I will assume that her unintelligible press conferences of last month were the result of a hastily-made decision to quit.  (Because we she says she is not a quitter and yet she is quitting in the middle of her term, there she goes again speaking English words strung together in a most fascinating way.  Maybe it is Palinese.)

She had over a month to prepare her REAL good-bye speech and calibrate her parting impression on her former constituency and the nation.  Hmmm.  She did not put that time to good use.  I wonder what her high school English teachers think?  Are they cowering in a corner?  Is this the product of a public school education in one of the richest countries in the world?  If so, G-d help us.

Sarah, dear, get a speech writer and stick to the teleprompters.