Dear, don’t trudge through my garden

Barack, the next time you have people over on the patio, don’t trudge through my veggie garden, again.  Washington is toxic enough.


Thought for July 31 through date CNN stops talking about MJ

Of all the pictures of MJ that could be on the Campbell Brown/AC 360 background wall, why do they choose one in which Michael Jackson looks like Diana Ross? They don’t use that picture when they want an up-close picture — usually they use the ones in which he has the progressively scarier noses.

Guest blogger — action on a subway

This from my beloved partner of ten years:

I thought I would contribute this blog-worthy moment to your morning. So I am sitting on a crowded #1 train and a tall guy – maybe late twenties – sits down next to me.  He’s nicely dressed – expensive shirt, good watch etc.  I thought he might be foreign ’cause of the haircut. He proceeds to whip out his keychain and starts to clip his fingernails. I leaned over and said to him in a perfectly reasonable voice – “I’m afraid you can’t do that here – it’s unacceptable. You need to use a bathroom or do it over a garbage can.  This is a public place.”  The whole time – I was perfectly calm and matter of fact.  He stopped. He got out a few stops later.  One small victory for civility on NYC  subways!

I love her.

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter, please go back under the rock where you’ve been hiding.  On Larry King just now, your claim that racial profiling is a hoax is based on two unfortunate episodes of two black kids trying to avoid punishment by saying they were assaulted by whites.   Ok, setting aside the history of whites falsely accusing non-whites of assault, etc., what you’ve said has nothing to do with racial profiling.  What irks me the most about you is that you make no sense.  I am guessing that you can’t the argument on the merits, on facts and on logic.  So, instead you deflect and divert attention from these shortcomings.

But, this is America, Ann, so talk.  I just turned off the TV.  But you caused me to rant and so you’ve won — for now.  I am the ultimate winner, because I will never have to wake up and be Ann Coulter.  That is your punishment.

A beer with the Prez

I don’t drink beer.  After four years of smelling mung beer in fraternity basements in college, the mere suggestion of beer makes my nose hair curl.

Have a beer with the President? You bet.  What, my strong aversion to beer?  Nah, dude.  If that is my ticket to have a sit down with the most powerful man in the nation (who happens to have the cutest ears in the nation), then, what me, an anti-beerist?  I’d even drink a rusty can of Rheingold circa 1969 if it gets me on the patio in the Rose Garden.

So, as I see it, here is how I need to orchestrate my 45 minutes with the Big Guy.  I have to do something outrageous that actually sparks outrage.  (I do outrageous stuff all the time, but no one seems to care.)  It has to threaten the kumbaya veneer of society in a menacing, yet ultimately not physically harmful, way.  Then it has to be on the 24-hour news RE-cycle, just in time for a Presidential press conference where the President is tired and talking about really important things critical to the nation’s future. Then, with seconds to go before he gets to leave the press room, have his make-up washed off and kick back with Michelle, a friend with press credentials has to ask about my incident.  Hopefully, he will be annoyed and the incident will touch a chord in him and he will have an authentic, I-am-human-and-I-have-unscripted-opinions moment.  POUNCE!!  I got my beer.

So, here is my checklist to close this deal:

  1. outrageous behavior: easy
  2. outrageous behavior that is offensive but does not involve weapons: hmmmmm.  Watch celebrity TV shows for ideas.
  3. get attention for outrageous behavior: Get a walk-on spot on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!!”
  4. get on 24 hour news RE-cycle: [Do I have to say nice things about CNN?] Start by being an iReporter.
  5. time it with an important press conference:  after August recess when Congress is fighting over the health care bill.
  6. have a friend with a press pass to the White House:  We need to break this agenda item into 3 subparts:  (a) Find a friend, (b) find a friend with press pass and (c) find a friend with press pass to White House.
  7. have friend ask a question on my outrageous behavior (which I learned from the celebrity TV shows or the coverage on the Michael Jackson family circus):  do you think tickets to the US Open Tennis men’s and women’s finals will do it?
  8. Get Obama ticked off:  easy, just ask my partner.
  9. BEER TIME!!!!

A book about nothing

In the New York Times, there is an article about an author who wrote a book about nothing much.  I hope it is free.

I am still outraged at Sen. Graham’s behavior

but I am glad he voted for Judge Sotomayor in committee so she could stand for a full senate vote on confirmation.

A lovely thing happened on the way to work today

It could have been a regular day on the road to Utopia for me.  Nothing other than angst awaited me in the office.  I had a fitful night’s sleep.  More gray in my hair than yesterday. It was the crack of ten a.m. and I was just leaving for the office.

Funny what a difference a little thing can make.

I was stopped at a crosswalk on my way to the train station, bracing myself for the hot-like-Africa-hot subterranean urban jungle that is our transit system.  A little girl with haphazard braids danced along in that way that little girls do and held her grandmother’s hand (I think she is the grandmother).  They stopped on the other side of the crosswalk for the light and the grandmother bent over to the little girl and may have said something or kissed her head, I couldn’t tell.  Anyway the light changed and, as I passed them, the little girl was telling her grandmother a story in that sing-song way the little kids do and the grandmother  had a big smile on her face.  Made me happy all day.

Thought for today, July 30, 2009

Of course Obama’s ratings are going down.  The real issues facing our nation are complicated and the choices are hard.  And good compromise means no person or constituency gets everything he or it wanted.   Including the President and the Republicans.

The debate should be about facts.  Not scare tactics.  Glenn Beck called President Obama a racist.  Why, because he had a visceral reaction to an incident involving Professor Gates?  Glenn Beck had a visceral reaction to President Obama’s statement.  Let’s look at this:  Obama’s reaction caused him to say that police acted “stupidly”.  Glenn Beck’s reaction is to call Obama a racist. Who over-reacted?  Hmmmmm.

But all this did was divert attention from the issues. We don’t have time for this nonsense.  But at least Glenn Beck’s reaction shows that the right can’t counter President Obama’s plans and policies on the facts.